Laying Down the Law: Accountant Edition

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Speaker1: [00:00:03] From the beyond a reasonable Doubt studios. In association with fighter production. It's lay.

[00:00:13] Down the law.

Speaker1: [00:00:19] With your host. Billy Dee Klerk.

Speaker2: [00:00:22] Hey, that's me.

Speaker1: [00:00:23] Yeah, that's right, Billy. That's you. Featuring Lorne Michaels. And Pia Smith. Only a mad man would dare to bring these people together to build a world of law and order only to tear it apart with laughter. That mad man is attorney Billy de Klerk. The result is a podcast blasted to the farthest reaches of the Internet. That podcast is this one, and it starts right now.

Speaker2: [00:00:55] Welcome to Laying Down the Law, the longest running law and comedy podcast on the planet that is hosted by me. Billy de.

Speaker3: [00:01:01] Klerk notes.

Speaker2: [00:01:05] The placement of commas are key in that sentence. I am a real lawyer and a comic improviser, making real legal cases, really real to our imagined multitudes of listeners through our patented auditory edutainment technology. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome. On this show, I invite top comedy performers and teach them about real legal cases. And if you listen to the whole episode without skipping ahead, there's a secret message about how you can make millions investing in real estate like me. We also cover how you can lose that stubborn belly fat without working out or dieting. And whatever did happen to those stars from the 1980s. The answers will shock you.

Speaker4: [00:01:47] I can't wait to find out.

Speaker2: [00:01:48] I know. Me too. I'd like to introduce my returning guests first. Welcome back to the podcast after a long absence. Actually, I'd like to introduce my returning guest. First. Welcome back to the podcast, seen on this podcast as the voice of the 45th President pre impeachment on a perfect call, a star of the juggernaut live comedy law and disorder, a customer, a comic, an improviser, and an actor recently given five stars on poshmark. She can be seen in the films. Listen. Water and Willa mae, the Church Lady Vampire Slayer. Welcome the very talented Miss Pia Minsky.

Speaker3: [00:02:29] Thank you. Thank you. Great to be back. It's great to be back.

Speaker2: [00:02:33] It's great to have you back. Next, she's a dynamic actor and a comedian, a filmmaker born and raised in Dayton, Ohio. In kindergarten, she learned that Jewish people.

Speaker3: [00:02:47] Don't do this. I wrote this.

Speaker2: [00:02:49] That's right. She learned that Jewish people are minority and her peers would judge her for it. She learned to cope through comedy. She made her film directorial debut with the hit film AI Vibrator at the Broad Humor Film Festival, which was the first short from Sweet Relish Films, a production collective founded in 2018. Please welcome a kind nurturer, a good listener, creative and comical who lives each day with a mission to love and laugh. She's a co-creator of Law and Disorder. The live improv show. Let's welcome Miss Lauren Michaels.

Speaker4: [00:03:28] Thank you. Thank you so much. And I'll write a new bio. Next time. Thanks for.

Speaker2: [00:03:32] Inviting me. I, i. Yeah, I. I do recycle bias. I'm thrilled to have you both on the show. But first. A word from today's sponsor. Well, Pierre and Loren, I hope that all of our listeners invest in that product and or service.

Speaker5: [00:03:58] Oh, I just.

Speaker4: [00:03:59] Was my favorite looking in my eye. Don't leave home without it, with happening.

Speaker2: [00:04:05] Without using that product. And exactly as we sit here today, I'm not sure which major corporate backer will get that coveted presenting sponsor slot.

Speaker3: [00:04:15] Hmm.

Speaker5: [00:04:17] Well, I can just say this. It leaves your skin dewy and. Younger than you've ever dreamed you could look.

Speaker2: [00:04:26] That's true.

Speaker4: [00:04:27] I'm looking at it right now, and it's a dream.

Speaker2: [00:04:29] Mm hmm. Not only does it do that, it helps keep your driveway clean, clear of acid reflux disease.

Speaker4: [00:04:37] Oh, have you seen a driveway with acid reflux?

Speaker2: [00:04:40] I have. It's disgusting.

Speaker4: [00:04:43] And a hazard to your health and.

Speaker2: [00:04:46] Safety. So we're all going to get out there and get more of that product and or service.

Speaker3: [00:04:51] That's all.

Speaker4: [00:04:54] Right. I'm calling the day.

Speaker3: [00:04:56] That's right.

Speaker2: [00:04:57] Because it's available by phone.

Speaker3: [00:04:59] Yep.

Speaker4: [00:05:02] You can leave a voicemail. They follow up.

Speaker2: [00:05:06] All right. Well, this this week's area of the law P is request was social host liability. She had some kind of a a story involving a drunk driving case and wanted to learn about social host liability. And Lauren requested identity theft. Hmm. Um, so what made you get interested in learning about the law of social host liability?

Speaker5: [00:05:33] Oh, gosh. Now I'm. Now I'm like, Oh, my God, Can I speak about it publicly? And I think I can. You'll stop me if I can't.

Speaker2: [00:05:40] Is it? The trial's over, right?

Speaker5: [00:05:42] Yeah, it's.

Speaker3: [00:05:43] Over. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:05:44] Oh, so also, it's just public record.

Speaker2: [00:05:46] It's okay. It's okay. You can talk about it.

Speaker5: [00:05:47] Okay. Okay. My sister was on a jury where there was this, like, bizarre, like, drunk driving case where the guy. Oh, I forget what had happened, but it was it was there has got to be like a true crime, like six part series on it because it was so fascinating. Somehow he claimed that he had not been drinking, but the officer, like, pulled him over. He'd been weaving in and out of traffic. He worked at a bar.

Speaker3: [00:06:16] Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Speaker5: [00:06:18] And when they pulled him over, he refused the breathalyzer. But there were, like, several things about all of the behavior leading up to even before he was pulled over. That sort of led to the belief that he was indeed driving drunk, but he'd been traumatized. He had gone to the bar where he worked to, like, just pick up some chicken wings, but ended up staying but claimed that he hadn't drank while he was there like it was. So there are so.

Speaker4: [00:06:49] Many twists and turns that you could I didn't know you could refuse a breathalyzer. I didn't know that either.

Speaker5: [00:06:54] But apparently you can.

Speaker4: [00:06:56] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:06:56] I learned that in traffic school. The the comedy traffic school. Back when you did that in person. Wow. In they.

Speaker3: [00:07:03] Actually went.

Speaker2: [00:07:03] To topics in the nineties. Yeah. Good comedy traffic school and the guy's comedy though the guy spent the whole time talking about how to get out of DUIs.

Speaker4: [00:07:12] Oh, my God.

Speaker2: [00:07:12] Yeah. And so he said, you know, if you ever get so this public service announcement, if you ever get pulled over, you have been drinking. He said refuse the breathalyzer because in the amount of time it takes them to handcuff you and take you down to the station, your blood alcohol level will go down. Oh because you metabolize some of it.

Speaker5: [00:07:32] Mhm.

Speaker4: [00:07:34] But like you have to it's a risky if you get once to the problem. You're in handcuffs though. If you had.

Speaker2: [00:07:42] Nine drinks.

Speaker3: [00:07:43] It's not going to work. Right.

Speaker4: [00:07:45] So Wow. Yeah. My traffic school, they just showed us red asphalt. That's seventies.

Speaker3: [00:07:51] Movie. Oh God. Horrible. Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:07:54] I haven't seen that since I was like in junior high, but it sure was. Well, it was an eye opener.

Speaker4: [00:08:01] Gross They don't make things that gore anymore. The seventies.

Speaker3: [00:08:05] Man Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:08:09] Yeah. Okay. So what happened?

Speaker3: [00:08:11] Did you finish the story?

Speaker5: [00:08:13] Oh, okay. When the when they pulled him over, he was at his destination. Oh. And he was like, Oh, my God, I can't believe this. Seriously, Like, I go and get the There's been like a death in the family. He'd gone to get chicken wings. You know how, like, everybody starts gathering, like, at the actual. Yeah. So he gets there and the cops are like, Hey, man, we know that you've been drinking, like, for the last 6 hours or whatever, so I don't remember exactly like what ended up happening. I think he was convicted of drunk driving, but there was never any proof that he actually was. But nobody came forward to say, okay, even though he was at the bar, he did not drink, which you think that they would. I don't even know if anyone's able to follow the story from here, but that got me thinking about those, you know, the like if you overserved someone at a bar and then the person ends up, you know, having, you know, having an accident or causing harm to someone based on the amount of alcohol that was served to them. And I know that I've been hearing about this probability forever, but I've never actually heard of it actually happening. So I got curious.

Speaker4: [00:09:22] That whole story makes me nervous and on both sides, like I'm already here. So he pulled me over after I got here. Like the trip is over. I'm not a danger to anybody anymore.

Speaker5: [00:09:35] If I could actually remember all the details, it would blow you away. And then so fascinating.

Speaker4: [00:09:41] They don't do the breathalyzer. So it's all hearsay that you were there and drinking, right? Because then they don't really have proof, but you still get. Convicted.

Speaker2: [00:09:52] Yeah. Circumstantial.

Speaker4: [00:09:53] What did he look like? Just curious.

Speaker5: [00:09:59] What? He was African-American.

Speaker4: [00:10:02] God damn it.

Speaker3: [00:10:04] Damn.

Speaker5: [00:10:05] Yeah. I didn't even want to ask that when I was here. Sorry, but.

Speaker4: [00:10:09] Yeah, but, I mean, I'm like, why would they just do that to somebody without any proof? What the fuck? Oh, wow. That doesn't make me feel better. I don't know if it was like a white guy. I'd be like, Oh, okay. Happens to everybody. I don't know. It makes me.

Speaker5: [00:10:23] Mad. The whole thing is insane. But I want to hear from a lawyer, and I think there's one in that.

Speaker3: [00:10:31] Oh, that's true.

Speaker2: [00:10:35] Yeah. I mean, I think that that, you know, it's a lot of circumstantial evidence, and it's about persuading the jury, Right. So in this situation, it's all about creating the doubt and the reasonable doubt. You know, if you refuse the breathalyzer, that's probably a smart move on his part, because that would be evidence. Obviously, that would be problem for him unless he was sober. But it's you know, it's about persuading persuasion. But the social host liability aspect is interesting, too, because that gets into foreseeability, is that if you are serving someone their their fifth or sixth drink, is it foreseeable they're going to go out and crash the car or something?

Speaker4: [00:11:19] Yeah. You got to make them eat.

Speaker3: [00:11:21] Mm hmm.

Speaker4: [00:11:22] That's true. Upsell. Hello.

Speaker2: [00:11:24] Has a lot of pretzels.

Speaker3: [00:11:26] Yeah, well.

Speaker2: [00:11:27] The pretzels are usually.

Speaker4: [00:11:27] Free, right? Well, no, I think it's the law to have. You have to provide some substance.

Speaker2: [00:11:32] Uh huh.

Speaker4: [00:11:33] And most bars won't offer it, but I think technically, like, they're supposed to just give you bread or whatever.

Speaker3: [00:11:40] If you're. If you're drunk. Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:11:42] Or drinking, even.

Speaker5: [00:11:43] You mean you're supposed to like. What if the person doesn't want to? You're just supposed to say, Oh, no. Here, take some. Eat a potato.

Speaker4: [00:11:52] Hmm. Yeah. And stop serving them. I in my early bartending years, I luckily, it was in New York, so nobody was driving. But I made some people really sick.

Speaker3: [00:12:07] Mm hmm. Oh, my.

Speaker2: [00:12:10] Like, No, no, no.

Speaker4: [00:12:10] You do.

Speaker2: [00:12:11] Need an.

Speaker4: [00:12:11] I mean, like. Like falling out of their chairs, throwing up on the place. But, yeah, I mean, like. Well, I also only served margaritas. No matter what people ask.

Speaker3: [00:12:21] That was my favorite thing to make.

Speaker2: [00:12:25] The margaritas only bar. Yeah, I have an old fashioned. You mean an old fashioned margarita?

Speaker4: [00:12:33] Try to make that. You get a margarita.

Speaker2: [00:12:39] So, Lauren, what made you get interested in wanting to talk about identity theft?

Speaker4: [00:12:42] Oh, well, related to my bartending job, there was a girl that came to visit me, and she hung out with me all, all day, getting really drunk, and she was waiting to hang out with me afterwards. And I finally got off. And for whatever reason, we were in our twenties or just mad at the world and we just started like smashing light bulbs in the street and getting crazy. And she called some drug dealer and we got in this car and the rest is a blurb where I won't get into it here.

Speaker2: [00:13:18] Highly incriminating podcast, but listen to my law enforcement.

Speaker4: [00:13:23] In the morning. My wallet had been stolen. I had recently just started working at this bar, so I had my Social Security card in there. I just got bumped on a flight, so I had a free ticket anywhere in there and I had about. 400 in cash.

Speaker3: [00:13:42] Because I just got off working. Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:13:45] And it all got stolen, and I never figured out. Where or who or how I got. It's just one of those things.

Speaker2: [00:13:55] I don't know. Somewhere in the universe there's a Lorne Michaels that's like flying places and throwing cash around.

Speaker3: [00:14:01] And he's.

Speaker2: [00:14:02] Fucking taking out credit with no consequences.

Speaker4: [00:14:05] Absolutely. And and.

Speaker2: [00:14:07] Just alternate reality.

Speaker3: [00:14:08] Like the split time.

Speaker4: [00:14:09] I wonder. I mean, I hope she's just killing it in Dubai somewhere.

Speaker5: [00:14:16] Where was the flight to?

Speaker4: [00:14:18] No, it was just like anywhere you want. Free flight. Oh, I know, I know. And but I had the night before, somehow hung out with some college football player who was showing off. How far he could throw bottles. Was throwing these empty beer bottles across Avenue A, it's like four lanes of traffic. So I thought I would try one and I threw one straight through somebody's window. And so when my wallet was gone, the next day, I was like, This is what I get.

Speaker2: [00:14:54] Uh huh.

Speaker4: [00:14:54] So just to tie it back to my Jewish.

Speaker2: [00:14:57] Name is Karma.

Speaker3: [00:14:57] I deserved. Yeah, Yeah. You deserve.

Speaker5: [00:15:00] It. You threw it straight through someone's window just with no consequences.

Speaker4: [00:15:03] I mean, the light came on and I ducked and ran.

Speaker3: [00:15:07] See, I thought.

Speaker4: [00:15:08] That was the consequence. I thought was I lost $400 of my identity.

Speaker5: [00:15:12] Yeah, I guess I meant no, like, immediate consequences.

Speaker4: [00:15:15] Nobody called. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:15:16] You've had, like, 20 Yom Kippur hours.

Speaker3: [00:15:18] Yeah, exactly. I keep trying.

Speaker4: [00:15:22] Write me in the book of life.

Speaker3: [00:15:24] Mean, come on.

Speaker2: [00:15:27] That's all I know about Judaism. That's Yom Kippur.

Speaker3: [00:15:30] Reset button. That's what I want.

Speaker4: [00:15:32] Oh, absolutely.

Speaker2: [00:15:33] Catholicism. You don't get that.

Speaker5: [00:15:34] Don't they get it? Every day you go in the little booth.

Speaker2: [00:15:37] Who wants to go in the little booth? Have you read a newspaper?

Speaker4: [00:15:40] That's true. Yeah, I have. So. Yeah. Fair point. We just have to throw breadcrumbs in a river.

Speaker3: [00:15:47] Great. Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:15:50] Hey, what was the time frame of this? Like, what year did this take?

Speaker4: [00:15:53] Oh, this was per 2007 rethink. 2008.

Speaker5: [00:16:01] 2008. I'm just curious. I was trying to sort of, like, assess the value of $400 during whatever time.

Speaker4: [00:16:07] Yeah, I think it was 2008 during the big crash.

Speaker3: [00:16:09] You could buy a house at that point in time. You could buy a house.

Speaker2: [00:16:13] Actually just shift it all into gold.

Speaker4: [00:16:15] And I think Obama no, Obama had like, just started. We're around that time. Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:16:20] Just started rolling in here. When I see you next.

Speaker3: [00:16:24] Say. What's that?

Speaker5: [00:16:26] Oh, I'm just saying, I will definitely buy you a beer when I next see you.

Speaker4: [00:16:29] I was hoping that's what you said, so I just need to make sure I heard it or what. So don't worry about whatever. Oh, yeah. I'll take a margarita. I love you. Thank you.

Speaker2: [00:16:42] Awesome.

Speaker3: [00:16:42] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:16:43] Because I'm respectful and like to meet my guests. Request. I did a case that involves neither identity theft nor social hosting. My last thing, I was, like, looking. I'm like. I'm like, going through the index table of contents. I'm like, Fuck, It's not in here. I have to do research. Okay. What was the case that we read?

Speaker4: [00:17:02] So everybody knows I'm looking at an actual book of cases here for like online scrolling.

Speaker2: [00:17:07] Paid Patreon members for the nonexistent. You know, this has like, tabs in it. Those tabs have been there since 2002. The fall of 2002. Oh, was tabs are.

Speaker4: [00:17:19] Older than that. When you were in law school 2002.

Speaker2: [00:17:22] That's when I took taught law and alternatives.

Speaker4: [00:17:24] Taught and what is taught. I think you might have said this to me before and then.

Speaker2: [00:17:28] I taught.

Speaker4: [00:17:29] You exactly when I never heard the real answer.

Speaker2: [00:17:32] The alternative is pudding and who the fuck wants pudding? I taught law and the alternatives to taught basically, like an accident. Like. Ooh.

Speaker4: [00:17:43] Um, a.

Speaker2: [00:17:44] Whoopsie. Yeah. Taught. Literally refers to a relationship between people that was not chosen by the people. So it's not a contract. It's not a contract. So most lawsuits are torts, civil lawsuits for money, Right?

Speaker4: [00:17:57] Right between.

Speaker2: [00:17:59] Strangers. Torts, a harm. So negligence, traffic accident, fraud, stolen identity. What I thought that would have been.

Speaker5: [00:18:08] Oh, my God, That's so fascinating. I've been hearing the word tort. I mean, even when I was in school and I this is the first time that I'm understanding what that is.

Speaker2: [00:18:17] Yeah. Yeah. So just a tort just means a harm or hurt or somebody. So. So because I'm, you know, very modern and progressive, I chose a case from 1928.

Speaker4: [00:18:28] I saw that.

Speaker2: [00:18:32] But for the the law school kids and people who want to go to law school, this is a key case that they teach in law school. And it's an opinion by a judge, Benjamin Cardozo, who later became a Supreme Court justice. I think in episode three of season two, I said he didn't. That was incorrect. I retract my prior statement. I also, according to Wikipedia, he looks like a a CONAN O'Brien, actually a slightly older CONAN O'Brien.

Speaker3: [00:18:59] So.

Speaker2: [00:19:00] So. So Cardozo is respected for his flowery writing and his protectiveness toward railroads, as you'll see. So so the facts of the case. Paul Scratch, please stop me with questions, interrupt me, ask questions, because the listeners aren't going to be able to do that. And if I say something that doesn't make sense, you are the ones to tell.

Speaker5: [00:19:24] Me that I would just like to bring something up where I feel like based on the time frame at that time, the railroads were like the internet, right? I mean, they were like the thing that held the entire country together. So I just.

Speaker2: [00:19:38] Yeah, I think you're right.

Speaker5: [00:19:39] Important to.

Speaker2: [00:19:40] Know. Yeah, I think you're you're absolutely right. Railroad in 1928 was the kind of only way to get around.

Speaker4: [00:19:47] Oh, before General Motors and ruined everything.

Speaker5: [00:19:50] Right?

Speaker2: [00:19:53] Building their automobiles, putting them on freeways. I saw who Framed Roger Rabbit. You know, that's what the whole premise.

Speaker4: [00:20:01] Exactly. No, it is, though.

Speaker2: [00:20:03] The evil car is.

Speaker4: [00:20:05] The reason we have no good.

Speaker3: [00:20:07] Public transport.

Speaker2: [00:20:09] I like to go to to Felipe's. And you see the old pictures of the red cars. Yeah. And it cool?

Speaker3: [00:20:16] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:20:17] Oh, yeah. So the choo choo trains, French dip, the choo choo trains while being fun and nostalgic. We're actually really fricken dangerous. So a lot of a lot of railroad cases we've had a couple of them on.

Speaker4: [00:20:35] Were any about like a woman was tied to the tracks by an evil villain and you know somebody like racing the clock.

Speaker2: [00:20:42] Yeah most of them are In fact there's a whole chapter and let me just look up. You have we have negligence, strict liability and melodrama.

Speaker4: [00:20:54] Melodrama. That's the melodramas like so. Okay.

Speaker2: [00:21:01] So Helen Paul's graft sued Long Island Railroad. Long Island Railroad was a railroad in New York. So this is a Long Island.

Speaker4: [00:21:10] You got to really hit the G on that.

Speaker2: [00:21:12] One Long Island. Yeah, well, the island and the Long Island Railroad apparently connected different parts of this Long Island. I've never been to New York, but it's pretty long.

Speaker4: [00:21:21] Yeah, it's very long. Very long. Based on the width, that's all.

Speaker2: [00:21:25] Yeah, Comparatively.

Speaker4: [00:21:28] To the width. It's long. Yeah.

Speaker3: [00:21:31] Exactly.

Speaker2: [00:21:34] So. So, Helen Paul's graf bought a ticket. She bought a ticket and she was going to Rockaway Beach.

Speaker3: [00:21:44] Rockaway Beach? Yeah, she's going to Rockaway. Walk away.

Speaker2: [00:21:48] She's bought a ticket to Rockaway Beach 1924. And while she's standing on the platform, A to two men see that the train is not the one she's going on. Train going the other direction is has pulled into the station and they decide they're going to run to make the train. Okay. So this is an old coal running train. It's starting to pull away from the station. And guy number one, you know, I don't know he's wearing Nike's or something.

Speaker4: [00:22:16] Well, I was just going to say I'm picturing this shoe does not have traction. If it's 1924, seven or wherever we are.

Speaker2: [00:22:24] 24.

Speaker4: [00:22:25] Yeah, 24. That's a slippery show.

Speaker2: [00:22:28] It is a slippery shoot. These are slippery shoes and they're probably wearing top hats and, you know, ascot's and stuff like that. They're running in, you know, three piece suits or whatnot.

Speaker5: [00:22:36] I have a small I have a question. So you you you stated that there were lots of two two train accidents. Is this is this one of them, like people running for the train and ending up in a in.

Speaker4: [00:22:49] A flipping right out on those rails?

Speaker3: [00:22:52] Yes.

Speaker2: [00:22:56] No one tied to the tracks?

Speaker5: [00:22:59] No. But you know what I mean. Like, was it like now you know, there has to be a sign that says do not drive your car across the tracks when the bars are coming down. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker4: [00:23:10] So Gap, all that.

Speaker2: [00:23:11] Yeah. So hold that thought. And then you can tell me at the end of the case what you think the sign ought to say.

Speaker5: [00:23:15] Hmm.

Speaker2: [00:23:16] Okay. So. So, guy number one runs, he makes the train, he jumps onto a moving train very dramatically. Guy number two. Wow. Yeah, a little bit slower. And he's carrying a package about it. This is about, like, 18 inches in size. It's wrapped in brown paper. And so I guess he's a little slower because he's got this package he's carrying. He's going to jump on the train and he jumps and he makes the train, but he's losing his. He's kind of standing there, wobbling as the train's moving. And so the two train employees run over to help him. The first one is on the trains pulling this guy in. The second one is on the platform and he's pushing him in like trying to help him make it.

Speaker4: [00:23:51] Pushing the push.

Speaker2: [00:23:52] Pushing him on the twitch. Yeah. And so the guy, you know, in all the excitement, drops the package.

Speaker3: [00:23:58] Oh.

Speaker2: [00:23:59] Okay. The package, it turns out, is fireworks.

Speaker3: [00:24:03] What? And so the fireworks hit the tracks and explode. Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:24:09] Oh, my God.

Speaker2: [00:24:10] They explode. Okay.

Speaker3: [00:24:12] Helen Hazard.

Speaker2: [00:24:13] It's ridiculous, right?

Speaker4: [00:24:15] Come on.

Speaker2: [00:24:16] So, Helen Paul's graph, She's on the other end of the.

Speaker4: [00:24:18] Train platform, you know.

Speaker2: [00:24:19] And this giant scale, basically, you know, like the scales of justice.

Speaker4: [00:24:25] This.

Speaker2: [00:24:26] Giant scale, for whatever reason, they're keeping scales in.

Speaker4: [00:24:29] The. Well, they had to weigh that bomb that that guy was carrying.

Speaker3: [00:24:31] Before he got on the board. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:24:34] Falls over, she falls down, the scales fall over on her own.

Speaker4: [00:24:39] This isn't justice.

Speaker2: [00:24:41] It's not so that those are the facts of the case. That's what happens is that basically the explosion of the fire was so big and knocks over these scales onto Helen Paul's craft. So she sues the.

Speaker4: [00:24:52] Oh my God, is she there alone or what's her deal?

Speaker3: [00:24:56] She wasn't alone.

Speaker2: [00:24:58] She was alone. She did survive.

Speaker4: [00:25:00] A woman traveling alone at that.

Speaker2: [00:25:02] Time. I know. Well.

Speaker5: [00:25:03] I know. My goodness. A damsel in distress.

Speaker2: [00:25:05] Indeed. She hadn't been.

Speaker4: [00:25:06] Oh, my God. And then this thing, like, crushes her or.

Speaker2: [00:25:10] Yeah, crushes her baby.

Speaker4: [00:25:11] Oh, my God.

Speaker3: [00:25:13] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:25:14] Side note, apparently the pulse craft family, because this is a famous case studied in law schools for almost a hundred years. You know, anyone, any lawyer that's like, Oh, you're a pulse graph. Oh, don't.

Speaker3: [00:25:26] You know about the case involving Helen Paul Scott Yeah, we know. That's Grammy. Grammy. Danny. Helen Yeah, she got crushed. Oh.

Speaker4: [00:25:34] God, Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:25:35] So, yeah, so, So she sues, she wins, she gets 6000.

Speaker4: [00:25:40] While guy with the bomb fireworks. He's gone the other direction. He's gone. No consequences.

Speaker2: [00:25:45] Apparently not. So she sues the railroads.

Speaker4: [00:25:49] Part because suing the railroad.

Speaker2: [00:25:53] She's the railroad because the two guys that helped the running guy, the one who aren't running with the pants, they helped him onto the train. And so the.

Speaker4: [00:26:01] Railroad employees and.

Speaker2: [00:26:03] She said it was negligent for them to help him because they caused his package to fall out of his hands and explode. So it's their fault.

Speaker4: [00:26:10] And it'd be too difficult to just sue the guy carrying an explosive because we don't.

Speaker5: [00:26:16] Know who that would have any money. But the railroad does.

Speaker2: [00:26:19] Yeah. So two pots.

Speaker5: [00:26:21] Knew about that back then.

Speaker2: [00:26:22] Two possible reasons. One is he got away.

Speaker3: [00:26:24] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:26:25] The other is he had no money, so maybe he wasn't wearing the top hat and ascot. Maybe he was wearing, you know, rags and knickerbockers.

Speaker4: [00:26:31] He had an evil mustache either way, because he was about to do a suicide bombing on a train.

Speaker3: [00:26:35] Was carrying fireworks on a what if you dropped it.

Speaker4: [00:26:39] On the train? On a baby?

Speaker3: [00:26:41] Exactly.

Speaker2: [00:26:42] Come on. That would have been a much more interesting case.

Speaker4: [00:26:44] And one of.

Speaker3: [00:26:45] The cases I.

Speaker4: [00:26:46] Get a time and see and I'll see what I'm going to.

Speaker3: [00:26:48] Do. Yeah. And this is exactly.

Speaker2: [00:26:50] One of those cases. Know the space time continuum goes another way. Yeah. So. So she wins the lawsuit and she appeals in the in, in the, the first level of appeals, kind of the middle level she wins again. So this is the the top court in New York called the Court of Appeal.

Speaker4: [00:27:10] So the railroad keeps appealing.

Speaker2: [00:27:12] Well keeps appealing. Keep taking it up. You know, $6,000, they're not going to pay. Helen Paul scrapped a 6000. It's a lot of money.

Speaker4: [00:27:18] 6000? Yeah. What would that what do you estimate that that equates to in today's times.

Speaker2: [00:27:24] I don't have a usually I have a computer in front of me. P You want to look up 6000 in today's dollars.

Speaker5: [00:27:29] Sure. Sure. Thank you. It would be about 96,000.

Speaker3: [00:27:33] Okay.

Speaker2: [00:27:34] Long Island Railroad can afford it.

Speaker4: [00:27:36] Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker2: [00:27:37] Oh, yeah, they definitely can. So the question that was presented in the in the the New York Court of Appeal, the top court to Justice Cardozo, it looks like CONAN O'Brien. Is the railroad liable for negligence? Does it? Does it owe her money when its guards were if its guards were negligent pushing the man carrying the package. Guesses.

Speaker4: [00:28:00] Uh. Card. He's going to go with the railroad, isn't he? Busy.

Speaker2: [00:28:07] Cynical. What do you think?

Speaker5: [00:28:08] I don't think that the railroad is liable. I don't think that that's their.

Speaker4: [00:28:13] Here's my thing. I think the higher court you get, the more people are getting paid under the table. That's my theory.

Speaker5: [00:28:19] Oh, that.

Speaker3: [00:28:19] Too. So show.

Speaker2: [00:28:21] You. Don't get to the Supreme Court.

Speaker4: [00:28:23] Brought up. Yeah. Mhm.

Speaker2: [00:28:25] Without taking some railroad money.

Speaker4: [00:28:26] Oh yeah, baby. That's right. Mm hmm. Same problem.

Speaker2: [00:28:30] Well, that was the answer. The No. The railroad is not liable. Oh, Helen. Because. Because the plaintiff was too far away, essentially. Is it basically. This is the idea. Foreseeability.

Speaker4: [00:28:43] Well, what about how secure that scale was that they put there?

Speaker2: [00:28:46] Good point. How secure was the scale? Were they responsible for the scale? The the analysis really in the case was about the the the interaction between the guards pushing the man, dropping the package. The package explodes, the scales fall over. You know.

Speaker4: [00:29:01] I mean, if it was a Pink Panther movie, I'd love to see it.

Speaker3: [00:29:05] Exactly.

Speaker2: [00:29:06] Like, there's a little marble that kind of goes around it. Then it knocks over a duck that, like, dips into the water.

Speaker4: [00:29:13] Ceiling missing is like Helen, you know, kicking a dog right before this happens. And then we're like, Yeah.

Speaker3: [00:29:19] No, she said, Fuck Helen Paul's. You got it? She had it coming.

Speaker5: [00:29:28] Bro. Yes, the musical. Hey, I also just sort of. I mean, I'm thinking that the railroad is responsible and liable because now we have to determine what is safe for for passengers to travel with. Right. So if they knew that it was explosives. Right, definitely they wouldn't have helped him. But if it had been like a big box full of teddy bears, well, that's okay. Right? So maybe the railroad has to, you know. Establish.

Speaker4: [00:29:59] And I wonder.

Speaker5: [00:30:00] That's a good point. You know, if you're are you carrying?

Speaker4: [00:30:03] Because what if the the railroad employees had been injured? Would that have been a different.

Speaker3: [00:30:09] Or would they have just swept that under the table and kept.

Speaker4: [00:30:12] Moving?

Speaker2: [00:30:12] Yeah, I don't think that. Yeah. The worker's comp system.

Speaker3: [00:30:15] Was quite the same.

Speaker2: [00:30:15] 9024 this is pre union. This is Eugene Debs.

Speaker3: [00:30:20] Wow.

Speaker2: [00:30:20] Form. You know. Well yeah in fact the modern labor movement was started. But based upon mistreatment of railroads. Oh.

Speaker4: [00:30:30] There you go.

Speaker2: [00:30:31] Hey. Yeah. So. So one of the facts that Justice Cardozo looked at is the fact that nobody could have known that there were fireworks in the package. Defendants employees couldn't have known because it was wrapped in brown paper.

Speaker4: [00:30:44] People weren't meant to label that. They didn't have that sign.

Speaker2: [00:30:47] There was no way that they could have known that it wasn't foreseeable, that if they push this guy on to the train, he might drop a package. That package might have explosives in it. The explosives would blow up and knock the steel over. Right. He basically says, I don't think they could have known that. He said, and this is Justice Cardozo, so I'll read it in a Cardozo voice. The conduct of the defendants card. If a wrong in relation to the.

Speaker3: [00:31:10] Holder of.

Speaker2: [00:31:11] A package, I have no idea he's Italian or if he's I don't know what that.

Speaker4: [00:31:15] Is. He made a choice.

Speaker3: [00:31:17] I don't know. I don't even know what the choice is. It's like an amorphous Irish Italian, Long Island. I don't.

Speaker4: [00:31:25] Even. Yeah, yeah. Long Island.

Speaker2: [00:31:27] Long Island. Oh, yeah. I read it more like the conduct of the.

Speaker3: [00:31:31] Like the.

Speaker2: [00:31:32] Conduct of the defendants. God, if wrong in relation to the holder of the.

Speaker3: [00:31:37] Package.

Speaker2: [00:31:38] Was not a wrong in its relation to the plaintiff standing far away relative to her, it was not negligence at all.

Speaker4: [00:31:48] So blame God.

Speaker2: [00:31:49] I guess that's any he said. He quoted Pollack on Torts.

Speaker4: [00:31:55] Hmm.

Speaker2: [00:31:56] Something fishy about that, right? Yeah, I had that in my show and I wrote that in advance.

Speaker3: [00:32:01] Good job.

Speaker2: [00:32:03] Proof of negligence in the air, so to speak, will not do if it's just kind of like negligence just out there.

Speaker4: [00:32:09] Right.

Speaker2: [00:32:10] Any negligence isn't enough. It has to relate to the actual plaintiff.

Speaker4: [00:32:14] This kind of this is reminding me of what happened in Los Angeles just a few months ago. Remember, these cops took all these illegal fireworks and they. And then and somehow moving that it exploded and then, like, killed people. So I.

Speaker5: [00:32:30] Wonder something.

Speaker4: [00:32:32] What's that?

Speaker5: [00:32:33] Didn't the house burn down some?

Speaker4: [00:32:36] It was the bad. It was a big old mess. But I just thought, like. What are they going to see? The cops and the cops? Are they going to do anything to identify him? We couldn't tell by the package it was going.

Speaker3: [00:32:48] I couldn't tell. It was just fireworks.

Speaker4: [00:32:49] I'm going to quote this case here.

Speaker3: [00:32:51] See, I lied to her.

Speaker2: [00:32:53] Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:32:53] Yeah. I'm really curious to know what was what the outcome of that whole thing in LA was.

Speaker4: [00:32:57] Yeah, me too. Probably not done yet.

Speaker5: [00:32:59] Question about this. Tell me her name again.

Speaker2: [00:33:01] Helen Paul's graph pals graph.

Speaker3: [00:33:04] What were her.

Speaker5: [00:33:05] Lasting injury like? What was her? How'd she end up physically? Did she lose a limb or. I mean.

Speaker4: [00:33:11] Or disfigurement or anything? Yeah. Yeah. And how old was she? One. This happened to her.

Speaker5: [00:33:17] Not that I feel bad for her.

Speaker4: [00:33:20] Except that she had it coming.

Speaker2: [00:33:22] She definitely.

Speaker3: [00:33:23] Had. Well, we think we can't. We can't prove that.

Speaker2: [00:33:30] You know the thing about.

Speaker4: [00:33:31] You had heard the way she talked to the woman at the counter.

Speaker3: [00:33:34] Mm hmm.

Speaker2: [00:33:35] You know.

Speaker5: [00:33:36] Funny thing about. I bet you anything. In fact, I'm sure her name is Karen.

Speaker3: [00:33:41] Questioning?

Speaker4: [00:33:42] Quite sure. Helen was the original Karen, remember?

Speaker2: [00:33:44] Yeah. Actually, some of the critiques of this case say that Cardozo deliberately glossed over a lot of facts. A lot of the things that were in evidence.

Speaker4: [00:33:54] Was so paid. They're like, Why give $6,000 to this lowly woman when we could give that money to the judge to do what we need him to do forever?

Speaker2: [00:34:04] Well, there's also this issue with externalities. I did look this up. There were there were 108 fatalities in railroad accidents in 1924. Damn. Wow. Yeah. 108 passengers killed. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Just on the Long Island Railroad.

Speaker5: [00:34:23] Oh, I'm thinking Countrywide. That's not that much.

Speaker2: [00:34:27] 108 just on.

Speaker4: [00:34:28] Just in Long Island Islands. I mean, there weren't even that many people yet.

Speaker3: [00:34:33] Yeah, exactly.

Speaker2: [00:34:36] So, yeah. And so basically, you know, he what Cardoza says is is a different conclusion will involve us. So he says if you went the other way and swiftly, too, in a maze of contradictions, let's say a guard stumbles over a package which is left on a platform. It seems to be a bundle of newspapers. It turns out to be a can of dynamite in the eye of ordinary vigilance. The bundle is abandoned waste which may be kicked or trod on with impunity. Is a passenger at the other end of the platform protected by the law against the unsuspected hazard concealed beneath the waist? If not, is a result of be any different so far as this distance passenger is concerned. When the guard stumbles over a valise with a truck, man or porter had left upon the walk basically.

Speaker3: [00:35:20] Wow, we do this.

Speaker2: [00:35:22] It's a slippery slope. It'll be anarchy.

Speaker4: [00:35:25] Every man for himself.

Speaker2: [00:35:26] Any time someone gets hurt, they're just going to sue the railroad. And we don't want that.

Speaker4: [00:35:30] It's interesting that even though even though this happened, it took us so long to get to, if you see something, say something like this is the opinion. And then his whole argument is like, if you see something, not my fault.

Speaker2: [00:35:45] Yeah, not my problem. Not my problem.

Speaker5: [00:35:49] Now, was she compensated in any way or she just had to, like, deal with her injuries.

Speaker2: [00:35:55] In fact, she ended up having to pay the railroad about $600 in cost.

Speaker3: [00:35:59] So. Yeah. Wow.

Speaker2: [00:36:03] Wow. Yeah. It's like a whole thing on Wikipedia about they talked to her lawyer about it later and he just kind of, like, shook his head. It's like.

Speaker4: [00:36:10] What? A defeated lawyer there.

Speaker2: [00:36:12] He's just, like, taken to making more than he was before, not just for to retest.

Speaker5: [00:36:18] And in all of this is the guy. I'm sorry. I'm so curious. Yeah, but the guy with the package, is he involved in this in any way or he just ran off to his destination without his fireworks.

Speaker2: [00:36:30] He's a shadowy, anonymous figure in history.

Speaker4: [00:36:33] Wow. He was in the gang.

Speaker2: [00:36:35] He's the slim man. Is that. That's an Internet thing, right? The slim man or the tall man? Not an.

Speaker4: [00:36:40] Internet. Yeah, there's the third man.

Speaker3: [00:36:41] No, no, no. I don't know anyone.

Speaker2: [00:36:43] It's like an Internet thing about the slim man or the the tall man or the Yeti or something.

Speaker5: [00:36:48] I know the thing with you speak, but. Yeah, this is.

Speaker2: [00:36:51] Horrible. It is.

Speaker4: [00:36:52] Horrible. It's horrible.

Speaker5: [00:36:53] What's the. What did she spend the rest of her life just denouncing and fighting the railroads and picketing and just making a stir. Like, what did she do?

Speaker2: [00:37:03] One would think. One would.

Speaker3: [00:37:04] Think, Oh.

Speaker4: [00:37:05] God. So for a lawyer to me, to Paul's graf and be like, Hey, I fucked up. Yeah, it's not family didn't get shit.

Speaker2: [00:37:12] Well, you know what's interesting? You know, I was going to make the point that there's nothing in the law textbook about what really happened. See, they train you early on in law school to not care.

Speaker4: [00:37:21] To what don't care about, right?

Speaker2: [00:37:24] We can. We can't monetize.

Speaker4: [00:37:26] It. It's a valuable skill.

Speaker2: [00:37:27] We know that it's $6,000 and that's kind of all you need to know.

Speaker5: [00:37:33] Wow. They don't even train you to wonder what $6,000 would be worth today.

Speaker3: [00:37:38] It's just $6,000.

Speaker2: [00:37:40] Well, it's the question of, you know, can you be negligent? Is it foreseeable someone gets behind the wheel of a vehicle, you the responsible party, because you served them their 17th margarita?

Speaker3: [00:37:51] Hmm?

Speaker4: [00:37:52] Yeah. Yeah, That's on you.

Speaker3: [00:37:53] Yeah, that's on.

Speaker5: [00:37:54] With no chips.

Speaker4: [00:37:55] No chips.

Speaker2: [00:37:56] Chips at all. The chips are free. That guacamole cost money, right?

Speaker4: [00:38:01] Right. Usually have some watery salsa.

Speaker3: [00:38:03] They'll throw you the free stuff.

Speaker5: [00:38:08] Well, I almost wish I didn't know about this story. Oh, I'm feeling kind of down.

Speaker3: [00:38:13] Well.

Speaker2: [00:38:15] Let's see if we can't live. If we can't lift you up.

Speaker3: [00:38:18] Okay. All right.

Speaker2: [00:38:20] How much improv can we do in 7 minutes? Okay, folks. Well, Pia has to go. She has a prior.

Speaker3: [00:38:29] So here they were.

Speaker4: [00:38:33] Thank you.

Speaker5: [00:38:34] More rocket. Please. Kill it. Oh, boy. Break a leg. I think they say in Hollywood.

Speaker4: [00:38:39] Is that what you people say?

Speaker3: [00:38:41] I have no idea. Wow. Jeff.

Speaker4: [00:38:45] Whoa. Okay. Okay. I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. Jeff. Okay.

Speaker5: [00:38:52] All right. I'm leaving. Peace out, you guys.

Speaker4: [00:38:54] Love you. Good luck. I hope they give you some good meds.

Speaker3: [00:38:59] Thank you. Uh.

Speaker4: [00:39:05] So it's just a.

Speaker3: [00:39:06] Mirror.

Speaker2: [00:39:07] You know. Should we? Oh, no. We got to have it for the Patreon.

Speaker4: [00:39:10] Oh, yeah. Patreon. This is for you. You're welcome.

Speaker2: [00:39:15] Yeah. 4.99 a month is buying you. It was kind of.

Speaker4: [00:39:19] Like split focus. Yeah. Like, is this how Megan Kelly feels?

Speaker2: [00:39:23] I don't know if any of us know how Megan Kelly felt.

Speaker4: [00:39:27] Charlize Theron knows she did the work.

Speaker3: [00:39:29] Oh, yeah?

Speaker2: [00:39:31] Yeah. You kind of come.

Speaker3: [00:39:33] At the end of, like, going very.

Speaker4: [00:39:35] Conflicted. Very, very conflicted.

Speaker2: [00:39:38] Conflicted. But she doesn't come across as conflicted.

Speaker4: [00:39:42] Oh, yeah. She comes across like, just work harder. It's your problem. Okay. You should just have a husband as good as my husband.

Speaker3: [00:39:55] That's your problem. Okay. All right. Thanks.

Speaker4: [00:40:02] So the 1920s, that's the time of silent movies, because I. You want to do that, like forties movie voice. That's the forties. The twenties. It's totally silent. We can't do.

Speaker2: [00:40:14] That. Okay, hold on.

Speaker3: [00:40:15] It was silent.

Speaker4: [00:40:17] The Silent Twenties movie.

Speaker2: [00:40:19] All right.

Speaker4: [00:40:25] And this is where the text would say crash. You mean one of those like ragtime piano?

Speaker2: [00:40:35] It just kind of put it in.

Speaker4: [00:40:36] Oh, good, Good.

Speaker2: [00:40:38] Jeff, can we have that 1920s tinny kind of ragtime music?

Speaker4: [00:40:43] And then I'll just narrate the dialog car. Hey, lady, get out of the way. I'm walking here.

Speaker2: [00:40:56] Then we see a we see a lady moving very quickly and a and a close up on a mustache, fingers twirling the mustache.

Speaker4: [00:41:04] The man with the mustache takes a break from his twirling to take his cane and smack the woman out of his way. His train's leaving.

Speaker2: [00:41:17] Title card pops up.

Speaker4: [00:41:23] A baby whales in the distance.

Speaker2: [00:41:27] My baby.

Speaker4: [00:41:30] My baby. Missed the train, please.

Speaker2: [00:41:33] Two carts in a row. The mustache twirling, man. You'll never make the train another card because I make the train.

Speaker3: [00:41:48] Oh.

Speaker4: [00:41:50] The railroad employees enter. They just made this train today.

Speaker2: [00:41:56] Title card. Hello. Baron Von Railroad Aston.

Speaker4: [00:42:01] Sign on the train says fresh paint.

Speaker2: [00:42:04] The lady attempts to snatch and dislodge her baby who's tied to the train tracks.

Speaker3: [00:42:09] Oh.

Speaker4: [00:42:11] His sweater came in knitted, and as it was unraveling, it tied that baby to the trail. Train tracks. Choo choo. Big billows of black coal smoke.

Speaker3: [00:42:29] Come through and everyone gags.

Speaker2: [00:42:32] Everyone's coughing. Title card says Cough. Cough.

Speaker4: [00:42:37] Dialog card says.

Speaker3: [00:42:40] Uh.

Speaker4: [00:42:43] The smoke really bothers me. Smoking.

Speaker2: [00:42:48] The next title card is a parenthetical that says.

Speaker3: [00:42:51] I think we'll ever.

Speaker2: [00:42:52] Have sound in movies.

Speaker4: [00:42:56] And as the terrain with wet paint.

Speaker3: [00:42:59] Is peeling away.

Speaker4: [00:43:05] The baby begins to giggle. Dialog card. Baby Giggle.

Speaker2: [00:43:14] We see a close up of another close up of Baron von Railroad. Stein Baron von Railroad. Stein shakes his fist and says, You'll never get away with this. There was a that was a dialect.

Speaker4: [00:43:30] Oh, yes, of course. Just then. The baby. Gets catapulted onto the track when a little dog jumps and like a seesaw, you know, jumps on a wooden plank and seesaw catapults that baby right into the arms of Baron von Railroad starting.

Speaker2: [00:44:07] Good pronunciation. Baron von Railroad Science. That's a marvel at the top of the railroad platform. It rolls down. Hey, roller coaster. It hits a fan that starts spinning, which turns a pinwheel, which lights a match, which falls over into a line of gunpowder. A spark follows the gunpowder across the platform, around and under the platform where there is a small flock of baby geese. It makes a very small pup and tips over the feed that the geese have been eating. They then fly out from under the railroad platform, picking up the baby and flying away. Title card.

Speaker3: [00:44:58] We.

Speaker4: [00:45:02] I'm sorry. That was a dialog card. Let me.

Speaker2: [00:45:04] See. Oh, you're right. That's a.

Speaker4: [00:45:06] Dialog. A dialog.

Speaker2: [00:45:07] Card.

Speaker3: [00:45:09] Oh.

Speaker2: [00:45:11] My title card says later that day.

Speaker4: [00:45:14] Oh, the flock of geese take a break at Rockaway Beach, where they drop the baby into a huge pile of sand. His sweater now has unraveled to be just a mere scarf.

Speaker2: [00:45:32] Close up on the back of the baby and teeny tiny little wings are sprouting out of his dialog card. I'm so happy I found my. Oh, the end. Title card. The moral is.

Speaker4: [00:45:58] Not every rude. Stein is an angel and not every railroad Stein. Is bad.

Speaker2: [00:46:11] And.

Speaker3: [00:46:11] Oh, man. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:46:19] It's a promo. We're going to do a silent movie on a podcast, an audio medium. Oh, but it's but the Patreon behind the paywall is really good.

Speaker3: [00:46:26] Yeah, Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:46:28] That's really all that animation. Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:46:30] Yeah. It was really.

Speaker2: [00:46:31] Thousands of.

Speaker3: [00:46:31] Dollars of. Okay.

Speaker2: [00:46:34] And overseas animators.

Speaker3: [00:46:37] For the highly detailed.

Speaker4: [00:46:38] Who I mean I felt like that was some pretty strong imagery I will.

Speaker2: [00:46:43] Was very specific. Yeah, I would give it I would give it imagery. A ten, plot A three.

Speaker4: [00:46:50] Yeah, for sure. For sure. But that's how those movies were back then. Yeah. So welcome. A lot.

Speaker2: [00:46:56] Of tension.

Speaker4: [00:46:56] It's true to the time.

Speaker2: [00:46:58] Well, was a short.

Speaker4: [00:46:59] Exactly. Exactly. It's.

Speaker2: [00:47:01] Yeah. Next is gonna be a Western.

Speaker4: [00:47:03] Yeah. Yeah. We can have more character development with that.

Speaker2: [00:47:06] No, no. Yeah. Right. I mean the Yeah, we. Yeah. A newsreel news on the march. Right.

Speaker3: [00:47:14] Did it the.

Speaker2: [00:47:16] News on the march. Well. Are we going to do we're going to do this now. We're going to do like a whole series of NEWSROOM news.

Speaker3: [00:47:22] No.

Speaker2: [00:47:22] On the march, we take you to Germany. In Germany, the rise of the one railroad Stein family has been traced with great interest by the monarchy there. The existing monarchy in Germany concerned about the rising proletariat movement in the suburbs of Hamburg. Hamburg? Yes, the Hamburg suburbs where the von Railroad shines. Well, at this time, it's all one Ottoman Empire, I guess, right?

Speaker4: [00:47:53] That's how old that news is.

Speaker3: [00:47:55] Yes.

Speaker4: [00:47:56] I'm an empire.

Speaker2: [00:47:57] Charles Lindbergh has been recently seen here shaking hands with Baron von Railroad Stein. The first.

Speaker4: [00:48:06] The two of them are planning to shop for Ottomans.

Speaker3: [00:48:08] Today.

Speaker2: [00:48:13] In domestic.

Speaker3: [00:48:14] News. President Michael.

Speaker4: [00:48:21] Moore.

Speaker3: [00:48:22] Moore has issued a new, new, new.

Speaker2: [00:48:29] Contract with the American worker. The details of the plan are not specific. But they do involve more smoke breaks.

Speaker4: [00:48:44] More smoke breaks and less accountability.

Speaker3: [00:48:47] Yes.

Speaker4: [00:48:48] Anything done on this job will not come back at you.

Speaker2: [00:48:52] The American businessman is delighted with this change in the in the nascent labor movement in the United States preventing a socialist outbreak.

Speaker4: [00:49:04] Yes. When every man is for himself. No man is for everyone.

Speaker2: [00:49:09] Yes.

Speaker3: [00:49:10] A perfect.

Speaker4: [00:49:11] Model for this new industrial.

Speaker3: [00:49:15] Revolution.

Speaker2: [00:49:16] Yes. This has been news on the march.

Speaker3: [00:49:22] March, March, March, March.

Speaker4: [00:49:25] Stop, stop, stop. Some.

Speaker3: [00:49:29] Wow. Thousands of dollars.

Speaker4: [00:49:32] Of impacting like those, you know. It really made me want to have, like, bells and, like, floppy d clop things.

Speaker2: [00:49:40] Well, good, because we're doing old stuff. It's going to be all public domain, right?

Speaker4: [00:49:43] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:49:44] Don't worry about royalty free Creative Commons licenses. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We get the horse.

Speaker3: [00:49:48] The horse?

Speaker2: [00:49:49] Like the.

Speaker3: [00:49:50] Monty Python.

Speaker4: [00:49:51] Like coconuts. Coconuts.

Speaker3: [00:49:52] Yeah, right.

Speaker2: [00:49:53] But I think, you know, I think actually the the coconuts were done with Foley editors. I don't even think they're really coconuts.

Speaker4: [00:49:58] Yeah. Because I.

Speaker2: [00:49:59] Think they're they're.

Speaker4: [00:50:00] They get block.

Speaker2: [00:50:01] And spiels. Yes. As Germans.

Speaker3: [00:50:04] Ask for.

Speaker5: [00:50:06] All over everything.

Speaker2: [00:50:10] All right, well, how about we do Germany?

Speaker4: [00:50:13] Yes, questioning myself. And then I was like. Man, My GI is real shitty.

Speaker2: [00:50:18] I don't know, I.

Speaker4: [00:50:19] Look, I said I'm from Dayton, Ohio. It's an old public school. It's an.

Speaker2: [00:50:23] Alternate timeline.

Speaker3: [00:50:25] A timeline?

Speaker2: [00:50:26] Now we know where Lauren Michaels went.

Speaker3: [00:50:28] Hamburg, Austria.

Speaker2: [00:50:32] To visit the Lindbergh's and the one railroad Stein's.

Speaker4: [00:50:36] I need an ottoman.

Speaker3: [00:50:38] Please.

Speaker4: [00:50:39] All right. My couch just isn't deep enough, and I need something for my knees.

Speaker2: [00:50:43] That's right. And seen. Well, that brings us to the end of this week's legal voyage. And I want to thank you for joining me, your host, on this earmark edition of Laying Down the Law. I'd like to thank my crew, Lauren Pia, and a special shout out to Miss Helen Paul's Kraft for joining me on this journey into madness. And listener, I'd like to thank you for coming along with us. Wherever you are. You're also here while you're there via the magic of earmarks. Cpe I'd also like to thank the OG cello Performance CPA Blake Oliver for building earmark CPE the mighty little app.

Speaker3: [00:51:25] That makes learning.

Speaker2: [00:51:26] Fun and free.

Speaker1: [00:51:29] Mostly free.

Speaker3: [00:51:30] But now you can subscribe. Isn't that right? Blake That's right.

Speaker2: [00:51:33] Billy And speaking of mighty, thank you to the mighty Q Quentin fighting her for the mighty cover Art.

Speaker3: [00:51:39] Thank you for the opportunity, Billy. And if you listeners want some.

Speaker5: [00:51:44] Cool art of your own, you.

Speaker3: [00:51:45] Can find me at my pro dot com.

Speaker2: [00:51:47] Thank you to David Felton for creating the awesome all original music. And a special thank you to Jeff at Fichtner Productions. Hey, that's me.

Speaker3: [00:51:59] Yes, Jeff.

Speaker2: [00:52:01] That is you.

Speaker3: [00:52:03] Thank you, Jeff, for making a.

Speaker2: [00:52:05] Little boy's radio show. Dreams into a middle Aged Man's podcast's reality. So until next time. Wait, what's.

Speaker1: [00:52:15] This? You forgot something.

Speaker2: [00:52:16] What's that? I forgot something you say?

Speaker1: [00:52:18] Yeah. You got to do the thing. You know the thing.

Speaker3: [00:52:21] All right. If you want even more of that delicious little.

Speaker2: [00:52:27] Nut butter drenched in comedy.

Speaker3: [00:52:29] Chocolate, find the full version of this and every amazing episode of.

Speaker2: [00:52:34] Laying down the law at dotcom or wherever in the metaverse, you get your podcasts.

Speaker1: [00:52:40] That fit Procom find your productions is not responsible for the preceding comments related to nut butter. If you or someone you know experiences nausea, third eye blind, and a sudden onset euphoria or have an unrelenting craving for ham, seek help immediately laying down the law as predicted by the Intergalactic Treaty of Euripides start 82182190. If you'd like a transcript of the show, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Colonel Steve Austin, Kirov, the Foundation for Law and Government. Two, two, one A Baker Street, Beverly Hills 90210. Any likeness to real places, persons or events is absolutely happenstance. We'd never intentionally crib real life happenings to make a podcast. We're not true crime after all. It's more likely a situation similar to the chimpanzees, typewriters and Shakespeare. Right? That's what attorney Steve says anyway. And if you know what's good for you, listen to Attorney Steve. I don't argue with Attorney Steve mostly because he ain't right in the head and quite honestly frightens me a little bit. The last time we went to court, the judge started asking him all kinds of weird questions, like, where did you study law and why hasn't the state bar of California ever heard of you? Then attorney Steve started doing this weird, deep breathing meditation kind of thing and muttering under his breath about a monster drug fight and how the judge ain't got nothing on a £15,000, 2000 horsepower fire breathing death, age on wheels, and then the L.A. Heat running with his taser. And honestly, that's the truth. Steve, come with me. It was only traffic, for God's sake.

[00:53:54] I tell you, he parked in the loading dock.