Laying Down the Law: Accountant Edition

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Speaker1: [00:00:03] From the Beyond unreasonable Now studios. In association with fighter production.

[00:00:11] It's lay down the law. Oh.

Speaker1: [00:00:19] With your host.

Speaker2: [00:00:21] Billy the Clerk. Hey, that's me.

Speaker1: [00:00:23] Yeah, that's right. Billy, that's you. Featuring Christina moore. Our tune, Nazareth. And Rob's gerbil. Only a madman would dare to bring these people together to build a world of law and order only to tear it apart with laughter. That madman is attorney Billy de Klerk. The result is a podcast blasted to the farthest reaches of the Internet. That podcast is this one, and it starts right now.

Speaker2: [00:00:55] Welcome to Laying Down the Law Earmark edition, the Law and Comedy podcast. I'm your host, Billy de Klerk, and I'm what you get. If David E Kelly wrote a Chris Farley and David Spade buddy comedy movie. Let's introduce my guests. First is a comedian and actor known for his wacky characters, his sketch performances and improv at UCB. That's the Upright Citizens Brigade for the uninitiated. You can see him on screen in the Conners, Stumptown and Ghostbusters Afterlife. Or on stage at UCB with his Herald team, Ghost. He's also a professional hypnotist. Please welcome back to the podcast. Our tune Nazareth.

Speaker3: [00:01:32] Sleep. Boom. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Happy to be here. Happy to be here. I'm not going to be playing. I made this joke last time. I'm not going to be putting anyone to sleep today.

Speaker2: [00:01:43] No. Awesome. Our next guest is engaged to wed our tune. She stands five foot five and turns 29 years old later this year. 29 years young, some people might say. Last year, she graduated from Loyola Law School of Los Angeles. That's a lot of L's, but she's not taking any L's. She took and passed the California bar exam. That's right. You can hear the applause in the background right now. And he survived all the crime. All right. She currently practices transactional law in the entertainment industry, which means she likes reading long contracts and she has no idea how to talk to a judge. She is launching a new podcast titled Cage Old Question with our tune, where we ask that eternal question Is Nicholas Cage the greatest actor alive? Answer Yes. She is Christina moore.

Speaker4: [00:02:35] I really thank you so much for having me.

Speaker2: [00:02:37] Thanks for coming on the show. And finally, he is not engaged to our tune, but he is a comedian from the UCB Theater. He says he's funny, nice, and he talks way too much. He's also humble and took my request for a short bio. Very, extremely, totally literally. Please welcome Rob.

Speaker5: [00:02:58] Skirball. Hey, everybody. Hello. Thanks for having me. Good luck finding anything about me. Good luck ever learning anything about me, Guys. You'll never find it. You'll never find anything about me.

Speaker2: [00:03:11] All right. Well, when we come back, we're going to hear a fight about light. But first, a word from our sponsor or sponsors. And we're back. This week's Case of the Week is brought to you from the great state of Illinois in 1968. The case is Slansky versus Wrigley. This is a case in which a plaintiff, William Schlenk, filed what's called a derivative action. We'll get into that against the defendant, director of a corporation, Philip K Wrigley, to force installation of lights at Wrigley Field so that the Cubs could play baseball at night. So the question of this case is, was it mismanagement by Wrigley for the Chicago Cubs to refuse to install lights in Wrigley Fields in the 1960s? All right, here's the background. Philip K Wrigley, the chewing gum magnate, was a director of the Chicago National League Ball Club, which is the company that owned the Chicago Cubs. At the time, the plaintiff, Slansky, was an investor in the corporation. And so this is what I'm going to take a side note and just explain what a derivative action is. Christina, you can jump in at any time if I get this wrong, because I'm a corporate lawyer. I'm usually not accountable for my legal acumen. So I just, you know, really believe what I'm saying. So Philip Wrigley owned about 80% of the corporation. And this Slansky was an investor in the corporation. He hold a minority share, meaning he couldn't control it. He's a small shareholder.

Speaker3: [00:04:44] His Wrigley's got 80%. No one's even the Chicago Cubs to this guy.

Speaker2: [00:04:50] Right? He basically what he says goes, Yeah. He's also on the board of directors. So he's a shareholder and he's on the board of directors and he's an officer. Those are three different roles. Okay. So shareholder is like the owner of a corporation. Like if you buy stock in, say, Twitter and you buy a share, share in it.

Speaker5: [00:05:10] Okay, I'm listening. I'm listening like.

Speaker2: [00:05:13] A director is. Those are the people that are appointed to run the company. They're not employees. They're sometimes they're shareholders and sometimes they're not. And an officer is the person who's responsible for the day to day operations. So the CEO, the CFO, all those roles, those are the officers of the corporation. Sometimes someone can be all three. And in the case of Philip Wrigley, he was all three. So a derivative lawsuit is a lawsuit where a shareholder derives the right to stand in the shoes of the corporation, meaning the corporation should sue a director or should sue a shareholder or should sue one of its officers. But it's not going to because that person is in control. So Wrigley is never going to cause the Chicago National League Ball Club, the Chicago Cubs, to sue him over anything. So the process of a derivative lawsuit gives a shareholder a right to assert the rights of the corporation against a director. Now, there's a whole lot of complicated stuff about how derivative lawsuits work, and there's obviously a lot of procedural hurdles because you don't want someone to come in and buy, I don't know, 9% of Twitter and then be able to force a lawsuit against the directors for doing something. You want to protect the directors to make their best business judgment. And this is a case about business judgment. In fact, we care about business judgment so much, we made it a rule. Not surprisingly, it's called the business judgment rule. How apt? Easy to remember. Here's what Selenski said that Philip Rigby did wrong.

Speaker3: [00:06:48] Yeah. Let's hear it.

Speaker2: [00:06:49] Philip Riegel was well known for opposing the installation of lights at Wrigley Field. And if you know your baseball stadium history, you know that there were no lights at Wrigley Field for a long time. Since night, baseball had first been played in 1935, 19 out of the 20 Major League teams had night games. In 1966 out of a total of 1620 games in the major leagues, 932 were played at night. The plaintiff, Slansky, said every member of the major leagues other than the Chicago Cubs, scheduled almost all of its home games in 1966 at night, except for opening day, Saturdays, Sundays, holidays and days where night games were not allowed based on rules. And this was done for the purpose of maximizing attendance, because you know what people do during the day they work and so they can't go to a ball game if they're working.

Speaker5: [00:07:45] That's bad for America. People are going to baseball games. We needed them here at the office.

Speaker2: [00:07:49] Well, we need to think about what Philip Wrigley's incentives are like. You know, his Cubs investment is fun money. Where he really makes money is the chewing gum. And we all know you can't chew gum at work, so you got to get him in the ballpark during the day so they can chew the gum.

Speaker3: [00:08:03] Is this real or is this a bit. This is a bit.

Speaker2: [00:08:07] The gum part.

Speaker3: [00:08:07] That's a part is a bit. Okay.

Speaker2: [00:08:09] It's a.

Speaker5: [00:08:10] Bat. His eyes were so big, I was like, he was freaking out.

Speaker3: [00:08:13] Right? That's right. You have to chew gum. Gum at work. You can't shoot out.

Speaker2: [00:08:17] You can't chew gum at work. You can't chew gum at school. You can't chew gum at night.

Speaker4: [00:08:20] If we want to spread more rumors around, something I've heard as well is that a mr. Wrigley owned property near the baseball stadium. And if you're holding more games at night, then you were getting more noise pollution at night and that property value is going down. So there's a possibility that there were some other personal motivations behind this decision not to hold night games. But like I said, this is kind of a rumor. I'm not really substantiating this. It's the same.

Speaker5: [00:08:50] That's true. That's got to be true.

Speaker2: [00:08:52] That actually sounds right, because that's one of the reasons that Wrigley gave, was that it would cause problems in the local neighborhood. There's no mention of the fact that he's a property owner, but that was one of the reasons that he gave. So the court looks at this case. And by the way, this comes before the court on what's called a motion to dismiss, which is very, very early in the case. So right away, after the lawsuits filed, the defendant says, throw the case out. There's no case here. You can't sue me for that. It doesn't matter whether what you say is true or what you say is false. There's no you don't have the right to sue me for that. So the real question is here, right or wrong, true or false, whether any of these things are true or not, Can you even sue somebody for making a decision to not hold night games?

Speaker4: [00:09:34] This is a federal 12 B six dismissal.

Speaker2: [00:09:37] Oh, now, for those of you that aren't lawyers.

Speaker5: [00:09:40] Better chills. I just got chills.

Speaker3: [00:09:42] So for all for all the listeners, Billy put on his glasses right now.

Speaker2: [00:09:46] I did And I'm holding up a book It's it's a law book business association. This is it's a state course case in the Illinois Court of Appeal. It's not federal 12 B six My assumption is that it's a let me see.

Speaker4: [00:10:01] I only asked not to freak you out just because I didn't want to say something wrong, but it might still be equivalent of like of jumping in here, of what my professors would tell me is that the defendant is saying, even if all of this is true, even if I did this and you hate it, you have no legal right to bring me to court. You need to go home and stuff it. Yeah. And sometimes the court agrees.

Speaker2: [00:10:25] That's right. It's the Illinois State Court equivalent of a 12 B six motion. And for those of you who don't know, in the United States of America, we have two overlapping court systems. One is a patchwork of 50 states that each have individual state court jurisdictions, and then a United States federal court jurisdiction that essentially flows out of the US Constitution. So when the when the Constitution was formed, the framers believed that the state courts would manage kind of like all of the criminal law, all of the civil law, and that the only reason we would need federal courts was to basically resolve conflicts between the states. Fast forward 200 plus years, we now have a dual overlapping jurisdictions. The essential thing you need to understand is under the principles of federalism, federalism is an idea that the federal government has limited powers and the states have basically original powers. And so the federal court system is our courts of limited jurisdiction, meaning only cases are controversies that either arise under the laws of the United States, federal laws, for example, HIPAA. That one's in the news a lot. Hipaa is a federal law that governs your portability of health care and also certain privacy rights. So anything that arises under the federal laws, you can sue directly in the federal courts. So federal court is original jurisdiction of the laws of the United States. Everything else is state court law. Now, the case that was too complicated to bring in today, this Eisenberg versus Flying Tiger line, that's 451 F second, 267 arising out of the Second Circuit in 1971 for the that was the federal case and that arose under the other way you get an. Federal Court. Two paths to federal court. One is federal question, meaning there's a federal law involved. The other is a dispute between people from different states.

Speaker5: [00:12:21] Oh, yes, that makes sense.

Speaker2: [00:12:23] Because basically the framers said, well, it's not fair if you're from New York and you're from Massachusetts. Well, you don't want to sue in, you know, in the courts of New York. That's not fair. You're going to get hometown to every single time. So. So and we don't want you to have to go to to to Boston because you can get a hometown every single time.

Speaker3: [00:12:42] And Boston will hometown you Absolutely.

Speaker2: [00:12:45] That you're going to get town. You're going to get hometown in Chicago. So so the point being that the the framers thought, look, if this is between if this is a lawsuit between people from different states, we want to give them a place that they can feel is fair. That's a national court system. And so that is called diversity jurisdiction. Now, understand that these were all white male landowners, so they didn't mean the kind of diversity we talk about today. What they mean by diversity is y'alls from Virginia and y'alls from South Carolina. So that's diversity. Yeah. And also, if you're suing someone from another country or someone from another country is suing you, that can be in the federal courts. And then there's a whole bunch more other stuff about about diversity, jurisdiction and all the different rules. And we don't really care about that. They long, long, long, long, long answer to Cristina's very good question is it's in Illinois state court because most likely Selenski was an Ohio resident. And so is Wrigley.

Speaker1: [00:13:50] Hey, friends. Producer Jeff here. I'm not a lawyer and I'm not here to tell Billy his business. However, I'm fairly certain that she, Lansky and Wrigley were Illinois residents, and that's why this landed in an Illinois court. Back to the.

Speaker2: [00:14:02] Show. If they weren't, then most likely they would have gone to federal court. Not always true, but most likely.

Speaker3: [00:14:09] That was awesome.

Speaker5: [00:14:10] That was incredible. I learned a.

Speaker2: [00:14:11] Lot. Okay, well, good. The next time you get sued in federal court, you'll know you broke a federal law. Probably the IRS. Irs tax.

Speaker3: [00:14:17] Code.

Speaker2: [00:14:18] Yes. Okay. The Cubs between 1961 and 1965 sustained losses from its direct baseball operations. Now, understand the Cubs have other businesses. They have the stadium, the concessionaires. They make most of their money on the popcorn and chewing gum. But. The plaintiff says, look, you the losses, the reason you're having losses at Wrigley Field is because there's inadequate attendance at the home games. So Schlenk argues that if the directors continue to refuse to install lights at Wrigley Field and night baseball games, the Cubs will continue to lose money and its financial condition will continue to deteriorate. So again, he's trying to sue on behalf of the Chicago Cubs entity as a shareholder to sue Wrigley for making this decision because he's hurting the corporation.

Speaker4: [00:15:10] Because he's saying it's been 30 years, it's been 30 years of everybody else doing night games and we're not doing night games. And you can see we're not making as much money. You've got to knock it off because the number one rule of corporations is we got to make money. We've got to make money and as much as possible. And so let's get like, what the heck is going on? But the secret number one rule of corporations is the business judgment rule.

Speaker2: [00:15:37] That's exactly right, Christina. And actually, there's another case in this chapter of the textbook of Ford versus Dodge. And apparently, I don't know if you know this, but Ford and Dodge were partners early on, and the Dodge Brothers sued Henry Ford because he wasn't paying distributions. And so that case gets cited in this case because the cardinal rule, the reason that that corporations exist is to drive profits to their shareholders. They don't exist for any other reason. So you have these two rules that are really in conflict. The one being the primacy of shareholder profits and the other being the business judgment rule, which is we defer to the judgment of the directors to decide what to do.

Speaker4: [00:16:14] And to be clear that that Ford V Dodge case is so amazing because it sets the legal precedent and the law for just because you are the head of a corporation doesn't mean you can treat your workers better at the expense of shareholder profits. You are literally not allowed to just start treating your workers better if shareholders won't be making as much money. So when you think about what the world looks like today with how Starbucks is acting and how different corporations act, you can see that it's been legalized through the decades. But the business judgment rule is is giving a lot of credit to the people running these corporations saying they're doing their best. They we have to assume that they're acting reasonably because it's a tough job running a corporation.

Speaker2: [00:17:02] That's exactly right. Yeah. And just for context, the profit and the wages point is really a great point. Specifically what happened, because I did actually prepare for this time. Henry Ford overnight doubled his workers salaries from 250 an hour to $5 an hour to basically screw over the Dodge Brothers. He said, you know what? I think I want to make my workers have more money in their pockets. I want to drive the economy. They can buy more cars that way. And the Dodge Brothers were like, but the profits, but the distributions, where's our money? We're the shareholders. So if you feel like your wages are too low today, you can blame the Dodge Brothers.

Speaker3: [00:17:39] Oh, my God. All right. So you see you see a Dodge car, You know, You know which car to hit with.

Speaker5: [00:17:45] I'm already I'm already going on the Internet right now looking for all the dodges in my neighborhood. I'm like, You guys better be better.

Speaker3: [00:17:56] That's right. Yeah. Yep.

Speaker2: [00:17:58] So plaintiff also pointed out that except for the year 1963, at every single home game, attendance was lower than their away games. Many of the away games were played at night, and so he compares the attendance at the Cubs games to the Chicago White Sox, which is in the American League and whose weekday games were generally played at night. The weekend attendance numbers for the Cubs and the White Sox were basically the same. But the weekday games for the Sox and many more people at them than the Cubs weekday games. And so the plaintiff says we got to install lights, we've got to get more people, we got to get the butts in the seats. And the way to do it is put in lights, play at night. And and Wrigley's just says, No, I'm not going to do it. I refuse. I don't think baseball should be played at night and I'm not going to allow it at my stadium.

Speaker3: [00:18:47] It's already being played at night. But he's like, you know what? Late at night on your terms. But he said, my turf, literally.

Speaker2: [00:18:54] His quote is, Baseball is a daytime sport.

Speaker5: [00:18:57] This is like not even like that far off from like people today that I know like, that would own like this is like I know I grew up I grew up in Phenix and like, Scottsdale can afford to put a stadium in, but they don't even want to put a stadium in because of like traffic. And they're like, Oh, we don't want things going on at night.

Speaker2: [00:19:17] Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:19:17] Like wealthy people are always like, I can't handle stuff going on at night ever. It's bad. It's bad. Go to bed. Like they're just confused. They get confused. That's all I got to say. Well, I think people get confused at night.

Speaker3: [00:19:32] They're confused. They're very they're very powerful during the day.

Speaker2: [00:19:35] It's much.

Speaker4: [00:19:36] Harder than getting your money.

Speaker2: [00:19:38] Right. You know, It's like they're by candlelight, right? And they're just counting their gold coins and stacking up. It's hard to see. It's so confusing. They're just bags. It's like carrying sacks of money from one room to another. So plaintiff said, Look, you could easily get the financing for lights, you could easily borrow the money, and it would be more than offset by the increased revenues. This is ridiculous. Selenski says that Wrigley refused to install lights not because he cares about the best interests of the corporation, but because of his personal opinions that baseball is a daytime sport and that installation of lights would have a deteriorating effect on the surrounding neighborhood. That's a quote. So I think the theory about him owning property is a good one. The allegations of the complaint, and again, at this stage on a motion to dismiss 12 b six for the federal rules of civil procedure. But on this motion to dismiss, we take everything that is alleged in the complaint is true. Selenski doesn't have to prove anything. He just needs to say it. He alleges that Wrigley has admitted he doesn't care whether the Cubs would make money from playing games at night. He cares about the neighborhood and he would be willing to let the team play night games only if they get a new stadium.

Speaker5: [00:20:48] It's just what Christina said. It's it's it's about property. It's just it's about his property. It's about property. It's just he doesn't want to. He thinks it's going to devalue his home. I think there's something weird. It's all about a money game, you know? Yeah, personal game. I mean, not for the team. Yeah, it's very funny.

Speaker2: [00:21:07] It's very personal, too. And, you know, he's 80% of the company, so basically what he says goes. And so the court says, Sorry, your complaint is tossed out. You can't sue him because of the business judgment rule. Basically, the court kind of bends over backwards to help out Mr. Wrigley. He says, Well, there are all these different reasons that maybe it could be in the best interest of the corporation. You know, maybe it would lower the property value of the ballpark, or maybe he can't really get financing, or maybe they wouldn't really make their money back. And basically the judges say we're not going to substitute our judgment for the judgment of the biggest shareholder director and most likely the guy who's contributing to our reelection campaign.

Speaker3: [00:21:52] So what kind of gum are these judges chewing?

Speaker2: [00:21:56] I think it's Doublemint.

Speaker5: [00:21:58] I know. I just love to see that scene in an HBO drama about this, where at the end of the episode, they're like, What's going on? And then you look and the judge is chewing the gum and it's like it fades to black. Can you go? That's life. You know.

Speaker2: [00:22:11] That's that's a big red. That's what it.

Speaker5: [00:22:13] Be. Yeah, it's Big red.

Speaker2: [00:22:18] Yeah. The courts basically says, read a quote directly from the case. It cannot be said that directors, even the directors of corporations that are losing money, must follow the lead of other corporations in the field. This is in response to the point that all the other ball clubs are making money with their games at night. Directors are elected for their business capabilities and judgment, and the courts cannot require them to forego their judgment because of the decisions of the other companies. Courts may not decide these questions in the absence of a clear showing of dereliction of duty on the part of the specific directors, and a mere failure to follow the crowd is not a dereliction of duty.

Speaker4: [00:23:00] I love this because on the one hand I feel like Rob was doing a good job of expressing how preposterous it is of like it's so clearly obvious that he's not following the standards and customs of everybody else in the industry who's making this out of money like everybody is like, you obviously should be doing this. But on the other hand, you do have a point of like Reed Hastings Netflix when you have these breakout corporations in. Countries that are breaking away from the blockbusters and the other, and they're changing the model like you don't have to act the way the rest of the industry is, because if we squash that now, you don't get new chance to profit, profit, profit, baby.

Speaker5: [00:23:40] No. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:23:41] Yeah. And one of the things, too, that's not really so true. Yeah, that's not we don't really get here so much. Is that the point about if, if Wrigley owned property near the field and that was his real reason? I think you get a different result because there is there's another doctrine that's related called fiduciary duty, which means you can't put your own personal interests out of the corporation. So had Slansky had some facts that said the real reason that Wrigley is doing this isn't because he's just opposed to baseball at night, or it isn't just because he thinks that it's going to somehow devalue the stadium. What it really is, is he has this other reasons, other nefarious reason he's benefiting his his chewing gum empire because it's going to somehow, you know, like it needed to be something related to Wrigley. Breaching that fiduciary duty, doing things that weren't in the best interest of the corporation, that was in his personal interest. And then I think you get past the then you get past the business judgment rule. Here. It's just alleged that he's making bad business decisions. And you don't get to sue your corporate directors because their business decisions are bad.

Speaker5: [00:24:49] It's just such an insane thing to not want to put lights in a baseball stadium, like to me. But I also I think it's so true, though, at the same time that like, he doesn't have to put lights in it if he doesn't want to. Also, that's also like I'm like also like I guess I'm surprised the judge wasn't like a big baseball fan. It feels like if they're chewing gum or if they're that kind of in that culture, the judges like, honestly, I would love to go to a night game. Like, it just.

Speaker2: [00:25:15] Feels like, right.

Speaker3: [00:25:16] Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:25:17] But it's just interesting. This is very interesting that it's just over like lights and that it clearly would work. It kind of feels like an episode of succession and that you just are upset with like Logan Roy and you're like, Is he just old and crazy or is he actually right? You know what I mean? Like, is my captain crazy? Like, is he going the wrong way because he's crazy, or is he going the opposite way because he's been around forever and he knows that it doesn't.

Speaker3: [00:25:41] Matter because sometimes the fish has to swim the other way. They you know, they know. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:25:46] Oh.

Speaker4: [00:25:47] That's fantastic. Rob, That's so insightful. I love the sound of your voice. Start tune.

Speaker2: [00:25:53] Is it getting hot in here? Yeah, there I am.

Speaker5: [00:25:56] I am engaged. I am engaged to someone in this in this podcast.

Speaker3: [00:26:06] Oh, wow. There's. There's lights at Wrigley Field now. Right.

Speaker2: [00:26:09] There are. So a postscript. A postscript to this case is that the Cubs didn't have night games for decades. They didn't install lights at Wrigley Field until 1988. And the reason was the MLB officials basically announced that they wouldn't have any postseason games in the future unless they put lights in. So before then, every game at Wrigley Field had been played during the day, with one exception, which I'll get into. And even today, there's a limited number of night games at Wrigley Field based upon an agreement with city council. Wow. In 1942, well before this case, Wrigley had actually planned to install lights, but they were scrapped for the World War two effort. And July 1st, 1943, the all-American Girls Professional Baseball League's mid-season All-Star Game was played under temporary lights at Wrigley Field between teams composed of the South Bend, Blue Sox and the Rockford Peaches players against the Kenosha Comets and the Racing Belles players. It was the first night game ever played in the ballpark.

Speaker5: [00:27:12] That is a nugget that someone needs. Like if someone in the industry is listening, you've got to buy that, buy the rights to that right now. I know that's just such a a nugget of like that's such a nugget of weird info right there.

Speaker4: [00:27:26] Like that's Yeah, yeah, that's really nice. Blow your poster or a tattoo that says Rockford Peaches play at night. That's amazing.

Speaker2: [00:27:37] Yeah, well.

Speaker6: [00:27:38] It was the South.

Speaker2: [00:27:40] Bend Blue Sox and the Rockford Peaches, so I can say.

Speaker4: [00:27:43] Rockford Peaches.

Speaker2: [00:27:44] And did you know that there was a Kenosha Comets, a Kenosha Comets and the Racing Belles? Yeah.

Speaker4: [00:27:51] So tell me, these Redskins teams can't change their names to be something.

Speaker2: [00:27:55] Like the.

Speaker4: [00:27:56] Peaches or the Common or the.

Speaker6: [00:27:57] Belles way.

Speaker2: [00:27:59] Better. Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:28:00] It's also, I love the idea that they're like, if it we're just going to everyone bring a lamp to the statement.

Speaker4: [00:28:07] Can see in the.

Speaker2: [00:28:08] Dark. Yeah that's actually true. Yeah that's actually true.

Speaker5: [00:28:11] That's canon you guys can see in the dark. Oh man. I'm like, that's cool.

Speaker2: [00:28:18] This became an issue for years before the 1988 installation of the Lights. In 1984, the World Series were supposed to start in the National League park, knowing that the Cubs didn't have lights, the MLB had a contingency plan. So if the Cubs made the World Series, they were going to start the series at the American League Park. If the Cubs won the SEALs against the San Diego Padres and then the Wrigley Field Games, the daytime games would have been held over the weekend. But the Padres beat the Cubs, and so none of it mattered.

Speaker4: [00:28:48] Damn losers don't get lights.

Speaker2: [00:28:50] That's right. That's right. Well, they were getting they weren't even going to get lights. They were just going to get weekend games. So two bad cubs. And then the 1980s, the Cubs management were fighting to get lights. They said the team would leave Wrigley Field if they didn't get lights. And Major League Baseball basically threatened to play all the post-season home games at Busch Stadium in St Louis.

Speaker3: [00:29:09] I'm not that familiar, but it seems like that's a threat.

Speaker2: [00:29:12] That's a real threat. That's a real threat. We're going to take your ass to Busch Stadium.

Speaker5: [00:29:17] That's also that's like their rivals. It's just very it's helping another business. Like you're like, well, we're going to make them like it's just very confusing at this point in the eighties, too, You're like, just put the lights in like like Bruce Springsteen's on the charts.

Speaker2: [00:29:35] Right at the time.

Speaker5: [00:29:37] He's he's going like Reagan is trying to run. For president. You know, he's been it's been a weird time. And the Cubs are like, shall we put lights in?

Speaker2: [00:29:46] Yeah, it's like these there's like these cocaine fueled Wall Street parties and the MLB and they're like, I don't know what we ought to do. So we've been lights in Wrigley Field. That's crazy.

Speaker5: [00:29:57] Like, it's just such a funny thing to be like, we got to put lights in this baseball stadium eventually and it's like waiting until the eighties is crazy. Like Star Wars has been out like and you're sitting there in the theater and they're going, by the way, we got to talk about the light situation at one point.

Speaker2: [00:30:12] Now, at that point in time, there were three Star Wars movies. And like, there was like rumors, like, did you know George Lucas is like, got other episodes of Star Wars? Yeah. There's like, I remember as a kid growing up, I was like, they're like, did you know that that did you notice that Star Wars Episode four There's actually nine parts. Like, where are the other six parts? What the.

Speaker6: [00:30:33] Fuck?

Speaker2: [00:30:35] And then I completely grow up, go to college, and then I get Jar Jar Binks. But I'm a little older than y'all. But.

Speaker5: [00:30:43] But no, but that's such a.

Speaker4: [00:30:45] Jar Binks hurts every generation.

Speaker5: [00:30:47] Yeah, it really does. And like, I'm, you know, I'm like, I was a kid when Jar Jar came out and I was part of that generation that, like, was too dumb to understand. Like, I was just like, I love Jar Jar, like I was like five. I was my dad made probably killing killing every adult in the room. I mean, just going jar jar was awesome. And like, there have to be nice to me because I'm five.

Speaker2: [00:31:08] Is a stereotype.

Speaker3: [00:31:10] Stereotype? Yeah. Oh man.

Speaker4: [00:31:15] Did you see the thing that it's canonical that Jar Jar Binks father tried to kill himself because Jar Jar was so annoying when they got marooned on an island together.

Speaker2: [00:31:23] Wow. No.

Speaker3: [00:31:24] What is this?

Speaker2: [00:31:24] This is Cannon.

Speaker4: [00:31:26] This is another rumor. Andor Cannon.

Speaker5: [00:31:28] So this is this fan fiction?

Speaker4: [00:31:30] I don't know. I reported it as canon, so you'll have to Google it later.

Speaker3: [00:31:34] That's right. Dena seems to have her finger on the pulse with as many rumors as possible.

Speaker5: [00:31:41] I also love a person that is ready to dish a rumor. Like with confidence. I feel like I'm on TMZ and I'm just pointing at you and you're like, Jar Jar. His father killed himself, and I'm like, Oh.

Speaker2: [00:31:52] Wow. Yeah. That's like the seriously dark episodes. They're like, Oh, I thought Empire was the darkest episode.

Speaker3: [00:31:58] No, no, it's.

Speaker2: [00:31:59] The it's the Jar Jar prequel that's going to be coming to you on Disney Plus soon.

Speaker3: [00:32:03] Yeah. And what's so troubling is they're gun guns. So I'm pretty sure they're good swimmers, but they're marooned on this island and there's no way.

Speaker2: [00:32:11] Right, Right. Don't the Duncans, like they go under, they can breathe underwater.

Speaker3: [00:32:15] Yeah, they have. They have excellent underwater skills.

Speaker4: [00:32:19] More and more like I'm getting fact checked, but.

Speaker2: [00:32:22] No, no, we're we're we're going with this. We we agree this is canon. Yeah. So 5687 consecutive day games were played by the Cubs at Wrigley Field. The lights were finally lit on August 8th, 1988. Eight, eight, eight, eight. The day that will live in infamy against the Philadelphia Phillies. However, God had other plans. The game got rained out after three and one half innings.

Speaker5: [00:32:49] Those cubs.

Speaker2: [00:32:50] So the first official night game actually took place, the second the next night against the New York Mets and the Cubs won 6 to 4. Good for.

Speaker5: [00:32:59] Them. You can't write anything better than that. That's like I love Moneyball because it's a great baseball movie. But let's talk about that. This movie about the lights, about Pixar. Where's Pixar? They got to do a movie about the lights. They could do a whole movie where the lights are talking and they're like, you know, I don't know, light bulbs.

Speaker2: [00:33:16] It would be one of their one of their ones with no dialog. You know how like the beginning, Like there's absolutely no dialog for the first act, by the way, up the first. The whole movie is the first act. That's the best part of that movie, by the way. Yeah. When we come back, we're going to do some improv.

Speaker5: [00:33:31] Okay, here we go. Are you guys okay? Okay, let's.

Speaker2: [00:33:35] We're back. We're back. I feel like they're back.

Speaker4: [00:33:37] I feel like I've been holding my breath.

Speaker2: [00:33:39] We're really back.

Speaker3: [00:33:41] And we're back. We're back.

Speaker2: [00:33:43] Folks, for those of you new to laying down the law, we're going to do. We're going to do a little improv. And if you don't know what improv is, you're about to find out.

Speaker3: [00:33:49] Say, boy. Have you ever. I wanted to win a piece of gum at night.

Speaker2: [00:33:56] You know, I used to chew gum at night all the time till my teeth fell. Now, now, I let you during the day because my teeth can't really hold it. And I'm worried I'm going to swallow it, choke and die.

Speaker3: [00:34:07] That's right. I've always said if you don't have teeth, you better chew during the day. Now, I actually need you for a campaign. See, I've. I. Hello? It's me, Mr. Wrigley. Yes, I know who.

Speaker2: [00:34:20] You are, Mr. Wrigley. Yes, Yes. Mowing your lawn for 30 years.

Speaker3: [00:34:23] That's right. That's right. And. You've grown up to be such a strong boy. You've grown up to be such a strong boy. No.

Speaker2: [00:34:31] I got no teeth at age 35, and I started mowing at age five.

Speaker3: [00:34:34] That's right. Yes. And and my I always like to.

Speaker2: [00:34:37] Introduce myself with my back story.

Speaker3: [00:34:38] Yes. And here's the corridor for today's work. All right. You keep that up. You keep that up now. Thank you. Now, look, I. I don't want to say this too directly, but I will. I've poisoned all of my night gum, and all of my day gum is perfectly good. Now, this is due to a long, controversial plan. I have to keep Wrigley Field from having night games. It's a principle thing as well as I have a really nice four bedroom, three baths sitting right on the edge. And let me tell you, I like to go to bed at 9 p.m.. I'm not trying to look for night games here. So. I'm going to make a commercial with you. I need you to. Yes. I need you to smile big and say I chewed gum at night. I lost all my teeth. But if I chewed gum during the day, I'd be a strong, healthy boy.

Speaker5: [00:35:31] We cut to the commercial. We cut to the commercial. All right, guys, I'm very excited. This is one of my first gigs directing finally. So I just appreciate the cast. And you guys are. You guys are wonderful. And what's your name, kid? You're so strong. You're so strong.

Speaker2: [00:35:46] It's boy, boy.

Speaker5: [00:35:48] Boy, boy. Boy, Oh, boy. You are like six foot five and you just smell like milk. And I love it.

Speaker2: [00:35:55] You. I've been told that you just.

Speaker5: [00:35:58] We got to get you more milk. So this is the thing. Mr. Wrigley, can you come here for a second?

Speaker3: [00:36:02] Yes. Right here. Yes.

Speaker5: [00:36:03] Do you. Do you want to you. You're all dressed up. Do you want to be in this commercial? Is that is that what you're trying to do, too? Are you trying to be in the commercial?

Speaker3: [00:36:10] I'll happily be in the commercial. Thank you for asking. I thought you'd never ask. Yes, I'll just stand in the back and, you know. Yes, we know you're standing in the back and I'll say and I'll say at the end. And yes, it's me, Mr. Wrigley.

Speaker5: [00:36:27] Okay. Okay, good. This is going to be really good. Okay. We're just going to roll on the first take. Okay. We're just going to roll. We're going to do it. We're going to do one take. Okay. All right. Boy, boy. I want you just to just be yourself. I love your energy. Okay? Okay.

Speaker2: [00:36:39] Bye, darling.

Speaker5: [00:36:40] Bye, guys. Okay. What were you going to say? What are we going to say, buddy? I don't.

Speaker2: [00:36:44] Know. We rolling? I've never done this before.

Speaker5: [00:36:47] Oh, it's going to be fine. Okay. Ready? Action.

Speaker2: [00:36:51] I chew gum at night and all the teeth are out.

Speaker4: [00:36:54] Cut! You board meeting Mr. Wrigley's presenting that? You know, we all agree here that we've gathered here today to discuss Mr. Wrigley's proposal that baseball is exclusively a daytime sport, and that despite this company's hemorrhaging cash from all points, we should continue to do everything possible to keep baseball a daytime sport. Mr. Wrigley, would you like to go ahead with your your plan for the commercial to make this happen?

Speaker3: [00:37:28] Yes, I'm looking to air this commercial. Now, I know we're hemorrhaging cash. I know it's been brought up. In fact, we're in the red, as they say. I'm looking to play this commercial. Now, this is Boy, Boy. We all know Mo's my lawn and he's screaming into the camera, straight, full frontal. I've chewed gum and I've lost all my teeth at night. Then, of course, I say. And Hello? It's me, Mr. Wrigley. We're going to play this ad every station. Which I believe at this day there's three. So all three, we got all three stations. And I want to play between everything and. I think. To answer your initial question. It'll be nice.

Speaker4: [00:38:18] Wonderful. So I think we should put it to a board vote.

Speaker2: [00:38:21] Whether I just want to be heard for just a minute here. I'm. This is Bob Titanic in the founder of the Titanic. As you remember, a famously my ship sunk 34, 30 years ago.

Speaker3: [00:38:31] So sorry about that.

Speaker2: [00:38:32] I was just desperately disappointed. They said it was unsinkable. They told me it was unsinkable. I just want to say I think this is a fantastic idea.

Speaker3: [00:38:41] Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker5: [00:38:42] Hi. My name is Jared. I work here as well. Just, you know, I know my family.

Speaker3: [00:38:49] Is that German.

Speaker5: [00:38:50] Jared?

Speaker3: [00:38:51] I work here as well. Oh, that's you work here as well. That's not your last name. Yes, that's.

Speaker5: [00:38:55] Right. You're funny, Mr. Wrigley. No, I just. I lost my family in the Titanic. I'm just. I lost my family and my whole family in the Titanic. But also, that's just me trying to be included in what we were all talking about anyway.

Speaker3: [00:39:08] And you know what? It's look, I know this is a bit of an aside, but thanks so much for being so cordial with Bob. I know it's been a very contentious point for you, but you've really put the past behind you and it's only. It's been about 30 to 50 years. 30 to 50.

Speaker2: [00:39:25] Years.

Speaker5: [00:39:26] The time is awkward as you think. It's not as awkward as you think. I honestly don't. When I don't I don't blame him, You know? I don't blame him anymore. I just blame that blame that damn iceberg, you know? That's right. If I could get my hands on that iceberg, that's where I'd really need to bring in federal. Ringing the FBI on that one. All right, Get all the.

Speaker2: [00:39:49] You know what I always say? It's what I always say. You know, some days you're the Titanic and some days you're the iceberg. It's just the saying. I always say, Well, you.

Speaker5: [00:39:57] Didn't say it so much. I wish you didn't say it so.

Speaker2: [00:39:59] Much.

Speaker5: [00:40:01] Because I lost everybody I know. I lost everybody I know on that ship.

Speaker2: [00:40:05] But I'm very sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers.

Speaker3: [00:40:08] Thoughts and prayers.

Speaker2: [00:40:09] Thoughts and prayers.

Speaker5: [00:40:10] Anyway, anyway, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. Okay.

Speaker2: [00:40:12] Well, did you have.

Speaker4: [00:40:13] I'm just glad to say that the board members all get along so well. I think it'll make it easy enough for us to put this to a vote, whether or not we want to ratify Mr. Wrigley's proposal for this commercial for the continued message baiting. Baseball is a daytime sport, so buy a raise of hands all in approval of Mr. Wrigley's.

Speaker2: [00:40:33] Well, I'm raising my hand because I think that anything that over that, over promises and under delivers is a great idea.

Speaker4: [00:40:40] Fantastic.

Speaker3: [00:40:41] Excellent. And of course, I'm raising it. Hello? It's me, Mr. Wrigley. In case anyone was wondering, I know it's just the four of us, but I Have Mr. Wrigley.

Speaker4: [00:40:48] Entered into the minutes.

Speaker5: [00:40:50] Yes, I'm going to raise my hand. I have a picture of the only thing I own is a painting of my family, and it's an abstract painting, so I don't even really remember what their faces look like. It's just a. Anyway, I put my hand.

Speaker3: [00:41:04] Up and might I say again, look again, so magnanimous to be so cordial with Bob. And thank you again for selling pretty much every earthly possession you have simply to get on the board of the Chicago Cubs. We really appreciate you having you here.

Speaker5: [00:41:22] Hey, I just followed the cash flow. My friend just followed the cash.

Speaker3: [00:41:37] Want a hot dog. Yeah.

Speaker5: [00:41:39] Take her out, though. Anybody else want a hot dog?

Speaker2: [00:41:42] I'll take two.

Speaker5: [00:41:44] Okay. Well. So three hot dogs?

Speaker2: [00:41:48] Yeah, he's having one. I'm having two. That's three.

Speaker5: [00:41:51] Okay. All right. I'll be right back. Anybody want a beer? How about a beer?

Speaker3: [00:41:57] You all take a beer?

Speaker2: [00:41:58] I'll have two.

Speaker3: [00:42:00] All right. Where are you from? Two?

Speaker2: [00:42:02] Well, as you know, I'm from the mid-Atlantic.

Speaker3: [00:42:05] The mid-Atlantic?

Speaker2: [00:42:07] It's a.

Speaker5: [00:42:08] Friendly place. Your place, your. Your. Your cadence.

Speaker3: [00:42:11] Yeah. You know what? It doesn't feel fair that I'm getting one, and he's getting two. Let me tell you, it just doesn't sit right with me. Let me tell you. Let me tell you, it doesn't sit right with me.

Speaker2: [00:42:27] Where your accent from, it sounds like. I'm not sure.

Speaker3: [00:42:32] Vaguely.

Speaker2: [00:42:33] Upper Eastern seaboard.

Speaker3: [00:42:35] The Upper Eastern seaboard. Yes. And. You know what? I know it's just a matter of payment, but I think there's something criminal about what's going on here.

Speaker2: [00:42:45] Oh, I agree. What's criminal is the price of these hot dogs and beer.

Speaker3: [00:42:51] So what I say is you and I get together and we sue this hot dog, man.

Speaker5: [00:42:55] Okay, This is escalating so fast, guys.

Speaker3: [00:42:58] You didn't think it was going to happen, did you?

Speaker5: [00:43:01] I didn't think that I invited you to. I invited you two to this game. You guys get caught up and just, like, scheming some kind of lawsuit every 5 seconds.

Speaker3: [00:43:12] Look, we all come from three different places, and I am.

Speaker5: [00:43:17] Unusual.

Speaker3: [00:43:18] For you. Back to my original action. Now that I'm from the.

Speaker2: [00:43:21] Eastern.

Speaker3: [00:43:21] Seaboard, from the east to the upper Eastern seaboard. And, you know, I know we all grew up in Pennsylvania together. Yeah. Through different times. Different.

Speaker5: [00:43:35] Yeah, we grew up in different times in Pennsylvania.

Speaker3: [00:43:38] And this I know, as you know, we try to we try to sue you every day.

Speaker2: [00:43:44] Every time.

Speaker3: [00:43:45] We get every time we get together.

Speaker2: [00:43:46] Every.

Speaker3: [00:43:47] Time. And it's always been a failure.

Speaker2: [00:43:49] It's always it's never working out well.

Speaker5: [00:43:51] It's because it's like about something very strange. Like it's always like, oh, he didn't really have many ice cubes at his house. Let's see what we can we can get. Let's see what we can get. And I'm I'm right there. You guys could just talk to me. You guys could talk to me instead of scheming some kind of lawsuit.

Speaker3: [00:44:08] Now, at the state level, it's always been thrown out very quickly. In fact, the judge rolls her eyes and just goes, Please get out of my courtroom.

Speaker2: [00:44:20] Don't bother me.

Speaker5: [00:44:21] She just belittles you. And then you you guys end up on the Internet and you kind of just become clickbait. Everyone. You're just getting roasted on the Internet constantly.

Speaker2: [00:44:29] It's so embarrassing.

Speaker3: [00:44:31] I can't I can't go anywhere, you see. That's why I'm wearing a full cloak right now. That's right. But now that I have adopted this persona for the last five years, I'm suing you federally. You see, I'm suing you. From the eastern seaboard to.

Speaker2: [00:44:51] He from the he's from the the the middle of the Midwest.

Speaker3: [00:44:55] The Midwest. Exactly. And how do you think a federal judge is going to take this, huh?

Speaker5: [00:45:01] You think they're going to get offended that you are wasting their time? I think. Also, what are you suing me for? I just want to get you guys hot dogs and you're spiraling. You guys are completely dressed like you guys are dressed like hitmen and in some kind of noir film.

Speaker2: [00:45:18] Look, you invited us here to your luxury box. You offer us hot dogs and beer, we ask you for the hot dogs and beer, and then you simply belittle us about being Mehmed on the Internet. So I think that's a good basis to sue you.

Speaker3: [00:45:32] The good basis.

Speaker2: [00:45:33] The good basis to sue you.

Speaker5: [00:45:38] You know what? You know what, guys? I'm going to get you the hot dogs. You guys can sue me. Whatever. But either way, I'm your friend. So think about that for just.

Speaker3: [00:45:46] Yeah, We've never said you're not our friend, okay?

Speaker5: [00:45:50] You can't sue me.

Speaker3: [00:45:51] We sue you affectionately, you know, like, you know, like a friend. You give someone a high five. This one's just a little bit harder.

Speaker5: [00:46:02] Oc.

Speaker3: [00:46:04] All rise.

Speaker2: [00:46:07] The court of the Honorable Virginia St Louis is now in session. Please respect the flag over here in the corner and be seated. Come to order.

Speaker4: [00:46:19] So what do you have for me today, gentlemen?

Speaker2: [00:46:24] Well, my my friend and I, we're we our friend keeps belittling us.

Speaker4: [00:46:30] All right, All right. First off, up top, I don't want anybody to waste my time. So let's get to the bottom of this. What's going on here? What are your legal claims? What do you think I can do for you here in this court today? In my.

Speaker3: [00:46:41] Court? Yeah. Let me start at the beginning.

Speaker5: [00:46:44] Your Honor. These two are stacked on each other. Like the. Like the like the like a bunch of kids in a trench coat. They're stacked on each other on stack.

Speaker4: [00:46:53] These men, it's hot.

Speaker2: [00:46:54] Oh.

Speaker3: [00:46:55] Oh, my back.

Speaker2: [00:46:56] I'm actually relieved. It was very hot down on the bottom there. So thank you so much for that.

Speaker3: [00:47:01] All right. Well, Your Honor, I'm really looking up to see you. Now. Let me start at the beginning. I've had to wear a cloak everywhere I go because I've been trying to sue my friend for so long. And every time I do, I end up on the internet looking like a buffoon.

Speaker2: [00:47:18] Yeah. And I have a problem that he keeps saying. My accent is itinerant.

Speaker4: [00:47:27] And.

Speaker2: [00:47:28] Intermittent and itinerant. He said, Say it. Sometimes it sounds like I'm from Virginia. Other times Maryland. Sometimes it sounds like I'm from Delaware and sometimes from Pennsylvania. And he just, you know, he's meme defying me. Click here. Click.

Speaker3: [00:47:44] What is this clickbait? Is it some sort of phishing thing? I feel like I'm always on the Internet and there's always my picture up there and there's usually something like, You won't believe this idiot.

Speaker5: [00:47:56] Your Honor, I'm don't. I'm not here to sue my friends because they're here to try to sue me. You know, I understand, but I am worried about them. I am very much worried about their health. I'm worried about their judgment. I'm worried that they don't know what they're getting into. Half the time. They're constantly throwing money at the wall, trying to sue me, sue people for no reason at all.

Speaker4: [00:48:21] And I heard a lot of problems here today, a lot of problems here today. And I'm thinking I'm thinking you've got something on the nose there with throwing money at the wall. So we're going to sanction these two plaintiffs. About $5,000 each will be due to the court payable to the court immediately for bringing these frivolous claims into my court. And you will also be paying the attorneys fees and costs for your friend here holding three hot dogs and three beers on his lap. And this case is dismissed.

Speaker2: [00:48:54] Okay. That's a good thing, right?

Speaker3: [00:48:55] That's a good thing. Like we made out like bandits.

Speaker2: [00:48:58] We got the top guys down.

Speaker5: [00:49:00] You guys are.

Speaker3: [00:49:00] Down. We we got. We finally did what we say.

Speaker5: [00:49:04] Stop stacking. Stop stacking.

Speaker2: [00:49:06] Don't get sanctioned. Our choice is I get back here.

Speaker3: [00:49:09] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:49:09] Oh, yeah. Get back on my shoulder. Get back on my shoulder. Okay. Okay. There you go. Oh, now I feel like home again. It feels like home again.

Speaker3: [00:49:16] So we are for poker next week.

Speaker2: [00:49:19] What are we on for? Polka Next week.

Speaker5: [00:49:25] Oh, you guys are always welcome because they're always welcome. I'm always looking to move past this kind of behavior from you guys. We're we're stuck in some kind of sitcom universe with you, too. And I just feel like every day it ends. It ends with you guys not learning your lesson. And then tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and you guys are going to be right back to your same old antics. And I just can't stop it.

Speaker3: [00:49:47] Yeah, you know, we return home changed question mark. It's like we always say punctuation. All right, Mr. Spielberg. You know that Ford versus Ferrari was a big hit. I know you didn't direct it. Don't worry. But I'm saying.

Speaker5: [00:50:11] Oh, I wish I could.

Speaker3: [00:50:12] I wish I could. I know you were. You were desperate to get it to that.

Speaker5: [00:50:16] Sorry, but.

Speaker3: [00:50:16] Continue. Yes. I think there's a sequel here. Ford versus Dodge.

Speaker5: [00:50:23] Holy shit. I'm listening. I'm listening.

Speaker3: [00:50:27] Now, it's not about racing, so the audience might be a little confused.

Speaker5: [00:50:33] I'm confused. Okay, keep going.

Speaker3: [00:50:35] But I know you mentioned previously your distaste for Dodge cars, and I think we could get an uprising.

Speaker5: [00:50:44] I'm looking to sock those those guys as hard as I can. I'm not a fighter, but I'll fight. I'll fight someone for this. This is its color. These full color purple really meant a lot to me, but I'm getting a lot of backlash for directing that one. So I'm going to do it right now. This is going to be my color purple.

Speaker3: [00:51:02] This is for the pink. What's your favorite color or what's your excuse me, least favorite Dodge car again.

Speaker5: [00:51:09] The Ram. I hate the Dodge Ram.

Speaker3: [00:51:11] God so big.

Speaker5: [00:51:13] So front, the front. The front is so big I can't see what it even is. It looks like a transformer which I produce those movies and I know OC Oh.

Speaker2: [00:51:24] Sorry we're late, Mr. Kaufman. Sorry we're late. Mr. Spielberg got my kid in here. Lady Gaga. We just I'm Bradley Cooper. As you know, I always introduced myself when I walk into rooms, and I'm just want to say I'm super excited, super excited about this Ford versus Dodge movie. Mr. Spielberg, you got to make this movie. It's kind of like the big short meets short cuts. It's kind of like it's a new it's a whole new take on on on derivative litigation and on on on insider trading. But but kind of energized. And I feel like it's it's a story for the ages really to be told by.

Speaker4: [00:52:00] And I feel like it's perfect for us and our voices we could provide the soundtrack for it. When you called me up and told me about it, I thought, I have to do this. I have to do this. Sounds like a story.

Speaker5: [00:52:10] Lady Gaga, you are just I love you. I just want you to play me like a puppet and scene.

Speaker2: [00:52:19] Well, that brings us to the end of this week's legal voyage. And I want to thank you for joining me, your captain, on this earmark edition of Laying Down the Law. I'd like to thank my crew, Christina Mattoon and Rob for joining me on this journey into madness. And listener, I'd like to thank you for coming.

Speaker3: [00:52:39] Along with us.

Speaker2: [00:52:40] Wherever you are. You're also here while you're there via the magic of earmarks. Cpe I'd also like to thank the OG cello performance CPA Blake Oliver for building earmarks CPE the mighty little app that makes learning fun and free. Mostly free. But now you can subscribe. Isn't that right? Blake That's right. Billy And speaking of mighty, thank you to the mighty Q Quentin Fichtner for the mighty cover Art. Thank you for the opportunity, Billy. And hey, if you listeners want some cool art of your own, you can find me my.

Speaker5: [00:53:16] Pro dot com.

Speaker2: [00:53:17] Thank you to David Felton for creating the awesome all original music. And a special thank you to Jeff at Fichtner Productions. Hey, that's me. Yes, Jeff, that is you. Thank you, Jeff, for making a little boy's radio show. Dreams into a middle aged man. Podcast's reality. So until next time. Wait. What's this?

Speaker1: [00:53:45] You forgot something.

Speaker2: [00:53:46] What's that? I forgot something you say?

Speaker1: [00:53:48] Yeah. You got to do the thing. You know the thing.

Speaker2: [00:53:51] All right. If you want even more of that delicious little nut butter drenched in comedy chocolate, find the full version of this and every amazing episode of laying down the law at dotcom or wherever in the metaverse, you get your podcasts.

Speaker1: [00:54:10] That fit Procom find your productions is not responsible for the preceding comments related to nut butter. If you or someone you know experiences nausea, third eye blindness, sudden onset euphoria, or have an unrelenting craving for ham, seek help immediately. Laying down the law is protected by the Intergalactic Treaty of Euripides. Start 82182190. If you'd like a transcript of the show, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Colonel Steve Austin of the Foundation for Law and Government. Two, 21a Baker Street, Beverly Hills 90210. Any likeness to real places, persons or events is absolutely happenstance. We'd never intentionally crib real life happenings to make a podcast. We're not true crime after all. It's more likely a situation similar to the chimpanzees, typewriters and Shakespeare. Right? That's what attorney Steve says anyway. And if you know what's good for you, listen to Attorney Steve. I don't argue with Attorney Steve mostly because he ain't right in the head and quite honestly frightens me a little bit. The last time we went to court, the judge started asking him all kinds of weird questions, like, where did you study law and why hasn't the state bar of California ever heard of you? Then attorney Steve started doing this weird, deep breathing meditation kind of thing and muttering under his breath about a monster drug fight and how the judge ain't got nothing on a £15,000, 2000 horsepower, fire breathing death cage on wheels, and then the Taylor keep running with his taser. And honestly, maybe next attorney Steve with me. It was only traffic, for God's sake.

[00:55:24] I totally parked in the loading dock and I think the.