Laying Down the Law: Accountant Edition

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Speaker1: [00:00:03] From the beyond unreasonable to help studios. In association with fighting production.

[00:00:11] It's lay down the law.

Speaker1: [00:00:19] With your host, Billy de Klerk. Hey, that's me. Yeah, that's right. Billy, that's you. Featuring Christina moore, our tune Nazareth and Steven C James. Only a madman would dare to bring these people together to build a world of law and order only to tear it apart with laughter. That mad man is attorney Billy de Klerk. The result is a podcast blasted to the farthest reaches of the Internet. That podcast is this one, and it starts right now. Man, I love that intro. Welcome to Laying Down the Law Earmark Edition, a lawn comedy podcast hosted by me, The unacknowledged Bastard Child of Maria Bamford and Judge Learned Hand. I'm Billy Dee Clarke. Well, I am super excited to introduce my guests today. First, welcome back. A returning guest. He's an actor, a storyteller, a writer and a director featured on The Moth at Second City, LA. And in the super legit podcast. Tune in and catch it on all the podcasts apps. He's half of the acclaimed comedy duo Nirvana. Please welcome the reluctant, yet fearless and intrepid hero of the middle school drama classroom, Mr. Stephen James. Hey, everybody. Hi. Next, she's a super legit lawyer, an actor, a comic. Best known for drafting contracts and being smart enough to stay the heck out of the courtroom. Please welcome Miss Christina moore.

Speaker2: [00:01:58] Hello. It's good to be here.

Speaker1: [00:02:00] It's good to have you. And finally, he's a comedian and an actor known for his wacky characters, his sketch performances and his improv at UCB. Keep an eye out for him on the Conners, on Stumptown in Ghostbusters Afterlife, or on stage at UCB with his Herald team Ghost. He's what? Oh, no. Yes. He's a professional hypnotist and he hypnotized me into lengthening his intro. He is our to Nazareth. Wow. Yeah, That's like the arrow.

Speaker3: [00:02:36] Hey, everyone. Thanks for. Thanks for having.

Speaker1: [00:02:38] Me, Billy. Oh, man. Recording on a Thursday. Well, I'm thrilled to have all of you back on the show. I believe it has you in combination a few episodes ago, so this would be great. But first, let's have a word from our sponsor and our sponsors. And we're back. Well, let's get into it with some law talk. Today's case, I'm wearing my spectacles. Now, for those of you listening on the Internet called a podcast, we can really hear the difference in your voice. Yeah, you're more focused. So this case is called Putnam versus Shoaf, and this is a case about partnership law. Let me set the scene for you. This is in Tennessee. The year is 1981. Bellbottoms had just gone out. Mullets had just come in. Actually, mullets don't they don't really ever go out of style, do they? In any rate, this is a dispute over the sale of a partnership interest in the frog Jump Gin Company.

Speaker2: [00:03:35] Frog Jump.

Speaker3: [00:03:36] Gin. I'm going to make a guess. This is like a gin, like an alcoholic gin, like a not like a card game or it's like not like.

Speaker1: [00:03:45] An like a cotton gin. Yeah, yeah. It's a I've, I've never thought about it before. There's a lot of different gins.

Speaker3: [00:03:50] There's a few gins. I know. It's. I know it sounds crazy. I'm like, gin, the alcohol, but we're talking gin.

Speaker1: [00:03:55] It's a good question because I got three pages into this case before I realized they weren't talking about alcohol. So I don't know if that tells you more about me or about the writing here or about just Tennessee. It's just assumed if you're talking about gin, you're talking about a cotton gin. But is a cotton gin Cotton gin? Yeah. Is a cotton gin. Yeah. I was hoping to make that a little bit more of a dramatic reveal, but not so dramatic. I'm shocked.

Speaker2: [00:04:19] I've been shocked from start to finish. When I started his question, I was going to be like, Shut up. It was alcohol and I be asleep. I missed this whole. I was shocked.

Speaker1: [00:04:30] Dina and our town know each other way better than I did because I would not have been like, shut up or dude.

Speaker2: [00:04:38] You know, Stephen, that we're engaged.

Speaker1: [00:04:40] We're.

Speaker2: [00:04:40] Married.

Speaker1: [00:04:42] That's a dramatic reveal. The dramatic.

Speaker3: [00:04:47] Dramatic reveals continue. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker1: [00:04:51] Wow. Wow. And this would be the time when Stephen and I announce something. Wow. I'm so glad you saved this one for sweet, sweet Billy. We are. We are off to a blazing start. In this case, I've gotten one sentence, and it's utter chaos. This is what law school should be like. There would be more lawyers, better ones. There'd be fewer Giuliani's that are lawyers. If it was more like this. Yes. Yes. So the frog Jump Gin company operated at a loss for many years. It. Was a money losing. Just. Just a money suck. Some years they had profits, but most of the time they lost money. And immediately preceding the important date of February 1976, it had been losing money hand over fist. So originally it was a four way partnership between an E.C. Charlton, a Luis H. Charlton husband and wife, and Lyle Putnam and his wife, Carolyn Putnam.

Speaker3: [00:05:59] So it's a four way partnership, but it's really just two families.

Speaker1: [00:06:04] Between two married couples. But they they're holding it. I guess legally, it doesn't really come up too much here, but they're holding it legally as four separate individuals, not as community property. Community property is not my expertise. 1974, Mr. Putnam died and Mrs. Putnam took her husband's interest. So Mrs. Putnam became a 50% owner of the Frog Jump Gin Company.

Speaker3: [00:06:28] No foul play there with death.

Speaker1: [00:06:30] I mean, you know, people will do a lot for gin. They'll do a lot for gin, less for a cotton gin, but they'll do a lot. I so we'll do a lot because of gin. They will do a lot because of Jess. So she was 50% partner with the Charlton's until February 19, 1976 when she got herself out of the partnership. At that point, the GIN was heavily indebted to the Bank of Trenton and Trust Company, and she wanted to just be relieved of the liability. So two new people came in, John A and Maryann H. Shoaf were interested in buying her one half interest. So they examined the books and records of the partnership. They did their due diligence and they said, Boy, this thing loses a lot of money. They determined that it was in a negative financial position. It was $90,000 in debt, which, you know, 1976 is a lot of money. 2022.

Speaker3: [00:07:25] That's a lot. That's a lot of money. A lot.

Speaker1: [00:07:26] Of money. I mean, it's not, you know, millions of dollars, but it's you know, it's it's a money loser. So it's 90 thousands of dollars. It's 90,000, which in.

Speaker2: [00:07:33] 19 and over your head.

Speaker1: [00:07:35] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And clearly, you know, she's a widow. Her husband, like, you know, basically ran this frog jump gin. She'd be the frog dissection gin company. She ran it into the ground and she's like, Look, you know, my husband wasn't that great as I'm making this part up. It's not in the case. My husband wasn't that great. You know, he leaves me with this damn thing. I'm, you know, I'm through with it. I want to enjoy my golden years. Get me out of here.

Speaker2: [00:08:03] Yeah. And Carolyn was absolutely sweating, because one thing about a partnership is, is that it is the easiest form of of partnership, of engagement between individuals that you can make because it's just like, hey, you and I, we should do something together. But it's also the easiest way to get in trouble because you're fully liable. You have no protections nowadays. Nobody does this. You do limited liability companies or corporations, anything you can to protect your personal assets from from the company's debts getting intermingled. So Carolyn here is sitting there being like, my husband's dead. This company is 90 K in the hole. And when this bank comes knocking, they're going to start reaching into my little widow pension. I got to get out of here.

Speaker1: [00:08:52] Yeah, they're going to take the farmhouse. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:08:55] Yeah. Or whatever. She's got whatever strings of pearls she's got tucked away in her socks or. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:09:02] I'm thinking it's cash under the mattress. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:09:04] Yeah. Argin, what's your guess of what she's got? Hideaway.

Speaker3: [00:09:07] She's got. I think she's got some little cat statuettes.

Speaker1: [00:09:11] Yeah, that's priceless. Oh, what are those? 90 K and Hummels? Yeah, yeah, actually, it's a it's a little known unit of value. The Hummels, they're, they're actually looking at ways to fractionalized it and you know, fractionalized Hummel interests. I'm fully invested in crypto Hummels and Hummel. Yeah. Oh yeah that's that's basically she had, she had all of her Hummel Nfts kind of she's just way ahead of the curve on the blockchain and she Yeah, so, so Christina's point is, is an excellent point. As I like to say, partnership means unlimited personal liability for the torts and debts of your partners. And this becomes really important in this case, in the partnership realm, the partnership owns everything, and everybody that's in the partnership owes everything or owns everything. You have a right to get profits out, but you don't just own a fraction of it like you would if you owned a stock and you own 1/100 of a company. You own it all together. So. Here's what the sheriffs proposed. They said, We'll become your partners, but each of you all got to pay us $21,000. Miss Putnam opens up her checkbook and writes a check for $21,000. And Mr. and Mrs. Charlton open up their checkbooks and write a check for $21,000. And the sheriffs come in and they agree they're going to be liable on the partnership's debts, which, as we have established, were significant. So they paid into the partnership account. And so at the time, the assets that were known were the gin, again, the cotton gin, the machine, not the alcohol, its equipment and the land upon which those things were located.

Speaker1: [00:10:54] And they were all held in the name of the partnership, the Frog Jump Gin Company. The partnership owned everything. Ms.. Putnam basically conveyed or transferred her interest to the shows, and they conveniently fired the old bookkeeper and hired a new bookkeeper. This is where it gets interesting, because in April of 1977, just over a year later, with the assistance of the new bookkeeper, they learn that the old bookkeeper was systematically embezzling from the frog jump company from the time when Mr. Putnam had died in 1974 until the time he or she was terminated. Whoa. So that the cotton gin decides to sue the bookkeeper and the banks that had honored forged checks that the bookkeeper had written. And the court says helpfully, There's no need to get into the details of that litigation. Suffice it to say that Ms.. Putnam was allowed to intervene, claiming an interest in whatever was paid. So intervene is when you say, Hey, this lawsuit doesn't involve me. Exactly, but I want to join it. It's like you haven't been sued and you haven't sued anybody. You want to join somebody else's lawsuit. It's kind of like hopping on to a class action. It is very much so when it's like a much smaller class. It's also kind of like Wedding Crashers, you know?

Speaker3: [00:12:13] It's like it seems like you're walking and there's a barbecue going on and you weren't invited, but you're like, you know what? I'll go.

Speaker1: [00:12:19] You just you pick up a plate. Yeah. And act casual. How? Who hasn't done it? Your standard thing, like. Oh, Uncle Gary. Right. Stay away from him. You're hanging out at the Hilton. Solvang. You know, you're a little hungry. You're a little short on cash. You're like, Damn, those people are having a pretty sweet barbecue at the park across the street. You walk in, you walk past the person who's taking the tickets, and you go, Hey, to the person that's over flipping burgers. You know that person. Then you pretend to talk to somebody. I mean, not that I've done this a few times, but yeah, you know how it is. We all. Who hasn't? Who has done it? So she intervenes. In the end. There is a judgment in the amount of 68,000. So half of that gets paid to the Charlton's because they're half owners of the partnership. And so there's a dispute between the shows who are the new partners and Miss Putnam's estate. She also died. What? Yeah, she died in the middle of it. But who? Her heirs, whoever they are. We don't ever find out who they are, but they are the ones that are trying to get back Mom or grandma's share of this, this $34,000. So the court starts looking at all these documents and they look at something called a quitclaim deed. And we're not going to get into real property. But I will tell you this about a quitclaim deed. A quitclaim deed says, I don't know what I got, but it's yours. That's a quitclaim deed. I don't know what I got. It's yours. Whatever I have, it's yours. You're just pushing the chips across the table. I'm not. I don't know what it's worth. I don't know what it is. I'm just. It's yours.

Speaker3: [00:13:56] It sounds like it's a mystery.

Speaker1: [00:13:57] Box, and I assume it's. Yeah, it's like Storage Wars. Exactly. But I assume to that you're like, Listen, I just want to be done with this thing. Just take it and we don't talk about this ever again. Yeah, Yeah. It's like, you know, I got my grandfather's 1992 green Taurus, which he sold to me for a dollar that I never paid him. And he's like, he's like, Here we go. Here are the keys. And I drove that thing into the ground. There's also an agreement that is transferring the personal property of the partnership. And I do have to read this because it's just so lovely. I love words and this description is just a list of random things I've never heard of all the property, including the cotton gin plant, the parcel of land to Ms.. Gordon 75 sojourn blades, one overhead incline cleaner, a stick in green leaf machine to Ms.. Gordon lint Cleaners, two Mitchell feeders, two Mitchell Burners, one Hardwick, Eder, all steel press condensers, fans, motors, pulleys, shafting, all piping, belting and machinery and appliances and other personal property, including all cotton trailers on set, parcel of land and use in connection with the operation of said cotton gins, accounts receivable, inventory and all the other assets of the Frog Gym company.

Speaker1: [00:15:10] Now that's what Christina does. Long lists of things that are transferred from one person to another. I'm like, That is a lot of words. I don't know any of those things. Are is it possible since they got mentioned so much, that was it. Ms.. Gardner Are they going to be a sponsor for this episode? Yes. Ms.. Gardner For all your gin needs, whether they be cotton gin, gin, gin or the game of gin rummy. Yeah. Or that one pronunciation of Jeanie. Yeah, Yeah. Short for Jeanie. Exactly. So they transfer all the property and then there's a third agreement. I mean, Miss Putnam was getting out. Sign everything. Says this agreement is between Putnam and Charlton's, and she says we're not partners anymore. She's agreed to pay into the partnership $21,000. And here's the key language. It's mutually agreed that the partnership be and hereby is dissolved. Christina, what does that mean?

Speaker2: [00:16:11] It means it's. It's over.

Speaker1: [00:16:13] It's done. Yeah. It's game over. It's game over. It's. It's come apart. It's not been sliced apart. It's dissolved like an Alka-Seltzer in water. It's One quibble is that you assumed our tune, and I weren't going to be able to handle what dissolved meant. In that sense, they.

Speaker2: [00:16:28] Had to be comforted. Be comforted by the knowledge that I was so excited to have the right answer.

Speaker1: [00:16:36] You know what? I'm sure that killed a few law school demons when you you're like, I wish you hadn't called on me.

Speaker2: [00:16:40] Okay. Yes. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:16:43] Well, I mean, she did like you did a great job a couple of pages back explaining something, and I've already forgotten. And I just thought, you know what? But yeah, it does Obvious means the partnership is is no longer. And they release and discharge each other from any claims and debts and demands relating to the partnership, the assets. She's completely released and discharged from any liability, debts or causes of action. All the indebtedness of the partnership. She's indemnified. All right, Who wants to take a crack at Indemnify Stephen? Can I go back to dissolved? I indemnifying means you're just like someone's insurance, right? Yeah. Yeah, it dealt, like, double indemnity. So, I mean, I'm guessing that is you're getting the claim, you're getting the reaping the benefits of it. Yeah. Indemnity is just it's a promise to pay someone else's expenses if they, if they, if there's a requirement. So like this is common in a partnership that says like if you get sued because of something we did together, I'm going to indemnify you, so I'm going to pay for it. Basically, I'm going to be your insurance.

Speaker2: [00:17:46] Company, uber close of like, it's kind of like you're covered. Yeah, you're covered.

Speaker1: [00:17:49] You're good. Yeah. And that's what she wanted. I mean, that was the thing that she wanted. And she also went to the Bank of Trenton. Remember, the Bank of Trenton was the big creditor. She got a release from all the liability for the note, which is 105,000. Well, they owed 105,000 to the bank. Everything else was like 15 grand. I was they were in trouble. At this point, The court goes into a long explanation about what partnership is under the Uniform Partnership Act. For those of you taking notes at home or or taking a quiz later for points, this would be a good part for you might just jot something down. The Uniform Partnership Act gives you the rights and specific partnership property, the interest or the ownership in the partnership and the right to participate in the management. And so the Court's focused here on specific partnership property. The specific partnership property is the property that the partnership owns, the partners don't own it. The entity, the fiction, the imaginary thing is what owns the property. And so your share in the profits is what you own as a partner. So whatever it kicks off is what you get, but you don't actually own the stuff itself. So. So Putnam and, and Shoaf and B, the Charlton's, they never owned the cotton gin themselves. The partnership owned that. The partnership owned the property. They just get the right to whatever profits are. This is really important because the partner's interest in the partnership is the net value, whatever profits there are or the deficit in this case.

Speaker1: [00:19:27] And so. The court says all she had to do was get rid of her interest in the partnership, so she didn't have any rights to the partnership property. She didn't have any debts to the partnership. And they say, sorry, you don't have any rights to the causes of action owned by the partnership. So what they're fighting over here is something that they didn't. It's a claim, right? A claim for embezzlement or for conversion to recover from this bookkeeper. That's a cause of action is something you can own. You can actually sell a cause of action or buy one. The partnership owned that cause of action against the bookkeeper when she said, I'm out of the partnership. I'm leaving. I'm buying my way out of this. She gave it all back to the partnership. She gave it to the show. She walked away. That was her intention. She could have stayed a partner. She chose not to. And they say this is like. This is like the situation when someone discovers oil on partnership, real property. Right? And all of a sudden it's like, oh, my God, there's oil under this thing. Well, you know what? You when you are a partner, you didn't know that the oil was there when you sold it. You didn't know that the oil was there. The oil belonged to the partnership. It never belonged to you. And when you walked away, you walked away from the rights to the oil. So, you know.

Speaker3: [00:20:47] Tough. Yeah. I've always said embezzling and oil to 1 to 1 parallel.

Speaker1: [00:20:54] It really is. It really is. The the the discovery of the embezzlement is much like the discovery of fossils under the ground that we can burn.

Speaker3: [00:21:04] Yeah, because it's money. It's money either way.

Speaker1: [00:21:07] Yeah, that's right.

Speaker2: [00:21:09] Money in a certain direction. It's honestly it's honestly, like, outrageous to me that Miss Caroline Putnam had the nerve to come in after this, because she very much is like, I don't I don't want to be responsible for this. I don't want to have anything to do this.

Speaker1: [00:21:23] Walk away.

Speaker2: [00:21:24] Walking away. Don't talk to me about this anymore. And, you know, if she had been there when they had found out about the embezzlement, she'd been like, Oh, my God, here's another thing for me to be responsible for, for the debt. But as soon as they go all the way through the court and it's looking like they're going to get a little money back, get that money judgment, she's like, actually, I should be here.

Speaker1: [00:21:46] I I'm.

Speaker3: [00:21:47] But it doesn't even sound like it was it doesn't even sound like it was Miss Caroline Putnam, who's dead, who is who also.

Speaker2: [00:21:53] Died. She died. There was an appeal as well. So she she was alive for part of it. And then she died.

Speaker3: [00:21:59] Oh, wow.

Speaker2: [00:22:00] Yeah. It sounds like she brought the action initially, but then she died. And then the estate. The estate was like, If we're going to get money out of this, we might as well stick it out in court.

Speaker1: [00:22:10] Yeah. Yeah. So she's like.

Speaker2: [00:22:12] Usually.

Speaker1: [00:22:12] My share and the kids are like, Yes, what? She said.

Speaker2: [00:22:16] Yeah. Or it might not even be the kids. It might be the executor of the state, it might be some lawyers being like, you know, we can keep charging to the estate as long as we're litigating on behalf of the estate. Yeah, that's something not going to happen. You got to you know, we've got see.

Speaker3: [00:22:33] When we started this, I didn't know there's going to be death, embezzlement and dirty lawyers. But now we know that.

Speaker1: [00:22:40] As I heard, Gin and and Kentucky or Tennessee. Tennessee, Tennessee. My bad. Yeah. No, no, it's not your bad. It's just a you don't have the book in front of you, which I do. But yeah, I mean, we're in California, Kentucky, Tennessee, Tennessee, I don't know, Georgia or whatever. I apologize to all of our listeners in the southeastern United States. There are many of you I know.

Speaker2: [00:23:07] I love Nashville. I really do.

Speaker1: [00:23:09] Oh, yeah.

Speaker2: [00:23:11] I'm sure being there.

Speaker1: [00:23:12] I know I got to get back there. Clearly, the judges here are just super irritated with the Putnam mistake. Yeah, Miss Putnam, they say, you know, would she have accepted a partner share of the frog jump Gin's liabilities for a share of the bank's refund? We don't have an answer. So she does. She got to pay off the bank to. What is she going to do is she's like, Come on, get out of here with that noise. And so all she ever had was an interest in the, quote, share of the profits and losses, which, as the court points out, she certainly intended to convey. And that is the end of that thoughts get it right. The Court Get it wrong. I mean, I think the court got it right. I think she was just trying to or the estate because now also I'm picturing two ungrateful kids who didn't care anything about cotton until they found out that it could wind up putting a little bit of money in their pockets. And I'm sorry if that is slander to the to the now septuagenarian Putnam's someplace out there. But yeah, it feels like the court got it right that they were only interested when it was going to be of their benefit, and they only got into that. But, you know, I will say this. If that person hadn't been embezzling, would Ms.. Putnam have been so quick to sell her shares, her interest in the company? Because if that person hadn't been embezzling, perhaps the company wouldn't have been in a deeper hole and she would have hung on to it.

Speaker3: [00:24:42] So interesting.

Speaker1: [00:24:44] The that's the quibble that I have.

Speaker2: [00:24:46] That is a great point, Stephen. And I just want to jump in because I think the court actually does clarify that in these circumstances. It's a case of mutual ignorance amongst all the partners. So part of why it's like not equitable or fair for her to come back in and try to claw back from the other partners who stuck around is they didn't know about the embezzlement either. So I think it's a great point that it's like there is an element of fraud going on when she values her stake in the partnership, but it's not one that's enacted by the other partners. So she doesn't have any claims against them or ability to get back in, I think.

Speaker1: [00:25:23] Yes. I think you get a totally different result. If the bookkeeper was somehow involved in the fraud.

Speaker2: [00:25:29] And with on with the shelf's, the shelves, which are like, you're going to be our bookkeeper. And then when we come in, we're going to fire you, get the new person in.

Speaker1: [00:25:37] Right? Well, it was our scheme seven. Is that right here?

Speaker3: [00:25:42] What is is there an opposite of embezzlement?

Speaker1: [00:25:46] I think it's charity. Charity?

Speaker2: [00:25:48] No, I feel like it's being scammed.

Speaker3: [00:25:51] Maybe being scammed.

Speaker1: [00:25:52] Because I'm like.

Speaker2: [00:25:53] When the money goes out of.

Speaker3: [00:25:54] You because I'm like, if the opposite of it was happening, it's not like she would be like, Oh, know, I need to get involved in this as well and pay back since we've lost some money. Is that what I'm saying? What I'm saying.

Speaker2: [00:26:08] No.

Speaker1: [00:26:09] Traveling is when an employee is like skimming money out of the company. Yes. And taking it out. So the opposite of embezzlement would be some conscientious secretary being like, boy, this company is really in dire straits. Let me I'm going to cash my check and put in a couple hundred bucks.

Speaker3: [00:26:25] Exactly. It's not like then that employee is like, actually, that was illegal and I need to get my money back. That Putnam was going to come out of the woodwork and be like, Yes, bookkeeper, we do. Got to get you your money back. Here's a check. Jimmy Thank God I got out of there.

Speaker2: [00:26:39] Now, it sounds like we're talking about wage theft, which is one of the largest forms of theft in this country. So look.

Speaker1: [00:26:46] Out. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, it kind of reminds me of that movie. What's the movie where they. They they're like, you know, there's money in their juice stand. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, that's always funny. I always money the banana stand. Yeah. And there's literally money in the banana stand. That's basically it. So the opposite of embezzlement is a banana stand.

Speaker2: [00:27:07] Yes. We all agree.

Speaker1: [00:27:09] We're we're in agreement. Is that the episode title? I think so. Episode title. There's always What is what is what was it again?

Speaker3: [00:27:17] There's always money in the banana stand.

Speaker1: [00:27:19] There's always money in the banana stand. Yeah, I think that's it. I was going to call it Tennessee Two-Step, and I like running the banana stand too. All right, when we get back, we're going to get a little improv out of these talented improvisers, and maybe I'll join them to. And we're back. So we we learned some things together. We journey together to back into 1981. And Miss Putnam and her greedy estate got denied.

Speaker3: [00:27:49] Well, hey, they're Barb and Barb and Henry. Thanks for coming for a little couples dinner. I have a little bit of an idea for us.

Speaker2: [00:27:58] Of course. Of course. We're sorry we couldn't go in on the mini golfing timeshare with you, but we're happy to.

Speaker3: [00:28:04] Hear about.

Speaker2: [00:28:05] Golf venture.

Speaker3: [00:28:06] Mini golfing timeshare is old news. That is a money suck, for sure, but I do not hold any hard feelings, Greg. Of course. No, of course. Who would I be? I think of us not just as friends, not just as a couple friends, but as partners.

Speaker2: [00:28:24] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a pretty strong word to throw around there. What? Oh, what kind of.

Speaker3: [00:28:28] I thought we were at that stage in our relationship that we could call one another.

Speaker1: [00:28:34] I'm only barely starting to call her my partner.

Speaker3: [00:28:39] That's good.

Speaker2: [00:28:40] That's really, Really. What is it You want to be partners Over? Because we're partners over, you know, marriage. And you and us were partners over this table at most.

Speaker1: [00:28:51] Or maybe these nachos were splitting.

Speaker3: [00:28:53] Oh, yeah. Sweet. Let's take a second. Let's have some. I mean, these nachos are great. Who? Spicy little chili, isn't it?

Speaker2: [00:29:05] Well, chilly. Chilly. Yes, it is.

Speaker1: [00:29:07] I actually have a couple.

Speaker2: [00:29:08] You mention it.

Speaker3: [00:29:08] I have a couple of sweaters, if you wouldn't mind. Go ahead. Toss these on. Here you go.

Speaker1: [00:29:13] Oh.

Speaker3: [00:29:15] Pretty soft, huh?

Speaker2: [00:29:16] Very soft.

Speaker3: [00:29:17] Very tough. That's 100%. That's. Well, it's actually 100% cotton, if you would, if you believe it. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:29:26] That's very. That is very soft, you know?

Speaker2: [00:29:28] Very soft.

Speaker3: [00:29:29] Times are tough these days. The eighties we're in, as you know, or. Excuse me. Hold on. It's so far.

Speaker1: [00:29:37] Greg. Greg? Can I talk to my wife for a second?

Speaker3: [00:29:40] Please. Please. Have a little.

Speaker1: [00:29:42] Hunt. I think he's trying. I think he's trying to rope us in on something this really sounds like. Remember that six months I spent in Amway? This sounds just like how that guy started.

Speaker2: [00:29:51] Yes, I share your suspicions, but I also think the sweater is really soft.

Speaker1: [00:29:56] It's so soft.

Speaker2: [00:29:57] It's so soft.

Speaker1: [00:29:58] So just keep your guard upon. I love you. Okay.

Speaker2: [00:30:01] Thank you.

Speaker3: [00:30:01] Thank you. And we'll take two more calamari for the table, please. Thank you so much. Yes. So. So I was thinking, you know, me and me and my partner, my my wife, Darla. I was thinking that we could go in together on a cotton gin. Historically, it's been a very racist industry, and I'm thinking we can turn a new leaf. I'm thinking this is a guaranteed success. There's no way this thing could lose money. The amount of equipment I've purchased already is insane. I've got gutter cleaners, I've got windshield wipers. I've got.

Speaker1: [00:30:44] I've got to say, Greg, you are not selling me by saying you've bought an insane amount of equipment already. Well, I mean, it seems like you're probably already pretty deep in the hole. I'm not sure what gutter cleaners have to do with cotton.

Speaker2: [00:30:56] Well said, Deere. Well said.

Speaker1: [00:30:58] Well, thanks, hon.

Speaker3: [00:30:59] Look, all I know is I looked. I looked at that master list. I went into the library the way we. The way we look things up. I went to the library. I looked up in the thesaurus. Then I went to the encyclopedia. Mm hmm. And I looked it up again. I want to make sure I was on the right one. Found gin. Then I realized I was on the wrong subject of gin. So then I went to the cotton gin, a whole different reference. But once I got there, it had a list of equipment, and I went out and I bought it. And now, while I'm out a lot of money, I have a lot of equipment. Now, you guys have a bit of money, but don't have any equipment. Now, think of this. If we become partners, we'll both have a little bit less money. I'll actually go back up, hopefully as far as I know. And you guys will have this equipment with me. And of course, Darla. And Darla is not dead, by the way.

Speaker2: [00:31:49] Right. I have a question about Darla. Where where is she, if not dead?

Speaker3: [00:31:53] There's a lot of rumors. There's a lot of rumors going around that Darla is no longer with us, that something bad happened, that she slipped off the roof and she's never coming back. I just want to rest those. That's. That's not true. She's just in her rocking chair and taking it easy.

Speaker1: [00:32:14] Oh, okay. Craig. I mean, I. I don't have any reason to not trust that given as Greg. I mean, we've been friends since high school.

Speaker3: [00:32:22] I mean, high school.

Speaker1: [00:32:23] Yeah. You were like our high school valedictorian. One of the nicest guys I've ever met. It's just that I still don't feel 100% that Darl has just been sitting in that rocking chair since. I don't know. Went on. When was the last time we saw Darla? Was it at the Peterson's birthday party?

Speaker2: [00:32:42] Two weeks ago. At the Peterson's birthday party, which is some time.

Speaker3: [00:32:47] Which is.

Speaker1: [00:32:48] Well.

Speaker2: [00:32:49] Over. Well over a missing persons report. Yeah. If a concerned neighbor felt like filing one lot in addition to the Darla the Darla question, it really seems like too much equipment. You just.

Speaker1: [00:33:04] Have a lot of equipment, but also a lot of that.

Speaker2: [00:33:07] Could offload some of that equipment, maybe about half come back.

Speaker1: [00:33:14] And I don't mean to cast aspersions, Greg, but a lot of that equipment that you were mentioning, that you were talking about.

Speaker3: [00:33:20] The gutter cleaners, the windshield.

Speaker1: [00:33:21] Wipers here on your list, like the stuff, a lot of this would also be equipment for, like, I don't know, digging a large inconspicuous hole in one's backyard.

Speaker3: [00:33:32] Well. Who? We all I mean, even if we dug some holes, that. What does that have anything to do with a little bit of gin? I mean, it's not like I'm trying to build an entire cotton gin on a hole I've already dug to ask Pig. Be grave.

Speaker1: [00:33:54] What? Hey, Greg. Hey, Betsy. Thanks for coming over today. I wanted to talk to you about this business opportunity. It's a whole digging company. But here's the great thing about the whole digging company is you don't actually need. Oh, Thomas, you're here, too, if it has to be. This is the great thing. Are you tired of digging holes for yourself in order to have those profitable, profitable holes? Have you heard of Amway? Well, we have taken two great ideas and brought them together. Whole digging in. Amway. See? Do you want to have other people dig holes for you? And then you can just reap the profit of the hole digging for others. You can come and you can be my downline and I'll get a small fraction of whatever hole digging you then sell to your friends. You can have hole digging parties, you can sell holding equipment. I've got a whole lot of shovels back here. I've got some back hoes and some windshield wipers that I haven't been using. Not buying again. I've been. I've been burned before. Okay? I've been burned before. This is different.

Speaker2: [00:34:56] There is in the shape of a pyramid. I can see it.

Speaker1: [00:35:00] They're trying to sell you things you don't need. Who doesn't need a hole?

Speaker3: [00:35:04] Is it Louis? Is it.

Speaker1: [00:35:06] Louis? Yeah. Yeah. Louis? Louis? Louis. We met at the gym.

Speaker3: [00:35:09] That's right. Louis. Soccer. Soccer. Yea. Yea. Yea.

Speaker1: [00:35:12] Yea. Yea. Yea. I'll throw the book holds. Yea. Yea. Yea. Right. Keep. Work out a lot. Since I've been celebrating my profits from my book. Holes that I clearly remember writing.

Speaker3: [00:35:28] Yes. Keep it a book in hell. If you want some advice, make it a movie.

Speaker1: [00:35:36] Oh, that's a fantastic idea. You know, I think we could expand the product line. Here's the thing. I think you. You. You don't understand. Are you tired? Aren't you tired of working for other people? You. You. The boss makes a dollar. You make a dime. You know, you don't. You want to be a business owner and rise yourself up by your bootstraps. The American dream, Horatio Alger and other people decided, okay, Louis, we're not buying in. All right. You can take this sideways story from your weird sideways stool and take it and pitch it to somebody else. All right, We're not getting into your holes. Go make a movie out of this. That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it. All right, let me try another thing.

Speaker2: [00:36:13] We're making a movie. I mean, I've always thought of myself as a producer.

Speaker1: [00:36:18] Well, here's a great idea. So? So we actually have another another business I've gotten into. It's just getting started. And you can be in on the ground floor. But this is. Have you ever heard of producing a movie and Amway? So what do you do? If we take those two things together, you can actually get someone else to produce a movie and then you get a part of the top. You're owning your own business. You're owning a piece of the American dream. See, by just convincing two people to become your downline, you then get a binary profit sharing, and then those people, then they go and get someone else to produce a movie and they get to more people and they lose.

Speaker3: [00:36:58] Are you safe right now? Are you okay?

Speaker1: [00:37:02] I mean.

Speaker3: [00:37:03] Is Amway holding you hostage? Just blink once for yes, twice for no.

Speaker1: [00:37:08] Blink. Blink. No, wait. Which one was? Yes And which one was no.

Speaker3: [00:37:14] As a blink one. Blink once for yes, blink twice for no. And he and he went. Blink a blink. But his eyes were open. You did not. You did not blink. You said blink. You just said blink, Blink with his eyes focused.

Speaker1: [00:37:26] Is this another book reference? Is he talking about Malcolm Gladwell now? I'm not sure. I don't know.

Speaker3: [00:37:32] All right. Well, I think we're we're going to be out of as much as we want this to be a film, and we think it should be a film. I know. I'm just a little hesitant, man. I don't know if I can get into this.

Speaker1: [00:37:44] All right, Well, let me just let me just try and give you a little parting gift for just $10 you can get into you can get into this at the ground floor. This is literally a business involving cutting money in half. So what you do is you take a $10 bill, you cut it in half, you give me half of the $10 bill and you take the other half. Then you.

Speaker2: [00:38:04] Go in. Do you have a $10 bill that you write the.

Speaker1: [00:38:07] $10 bill and you have a half of a $10 bill?

Speaker3: [00:38:10] We got to we got to get out of here. We got we got to get out of here. We got to go. I mean.

Speaker1: [00:38:14] I got to say, this guy, I mean, I fell for something like this before I sent in a dollar to the Columbia whole company and they sent me 12 holes in the mail. But then I was getting a whole every month for like the longest time, and I couldn't cancel. Kids. Kids. You come in here right now. Hey. Yeah. What can we do?

Speaker2: [00:38:44] Are we in trouble?

Speaker1: [00:38:46] Well, it depends. It depends. You see. I have been looking at the books of my my local cookie company that I have been running. And I have noticed that there are a lot of chocolate chip cookies that have gone missing. And it seems that the culpability is pointing right towards YouTube youngsters. Oh, well.

Speaker3: [00:39:11] Well.

Speaker1: [00:39:12] Mom.

Speaker3: [00:39:14] I actually want to make a quick point about this.

Speaker1: [00:39:18] Okay, Sam, though. Go ahead.

Speaker3: [00:39:22] You're right. We took the chocolate chip cookies.

Speaker1: [00:39:25] Wow. Yes. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:39:28] There. There's no we. There's no weight. There's no weight. No, no, no. And. And I think I should have a lawyer present before we get in Any more questions.

Speaker1: [00:39:39] And your brother, Sam Bell, our partners. You are siblings, Which means that everything he is responsible for you are equally responsible.

Speaker3: [00:39:47] That's right. Oh, yes, Gina. Gina, we. I know. Took the cookies, too. We took them and we said we can take them as long as Mom doesn't find out. But if she ever calls us out, we're not going to lie because liars.

Speaker1: [00:40:04] As I always told you, children liars start fires in the afterlife.

Speaker3: [00:40:10] That's right. So I wasn't about to start lying now, if I'm not mistaken. You gave your chocolate chip cookie recipe to us as a Christmas gift last year. And you said, I'm passing that on to you.

Speaker1: [00:40:30] Expecting you to make cookies on your own, not to take from the company's cookies. So this kind of behavior, I would expect from you. But. Gina mom, Gina, my angelic Gina.

Speaker2: [00:40:44] Yes, Mom. You can see right through his lies and know that I am innocent of these claims. Oh, to me, when he took them and he said, you know, we'll both be liable. We're in this partnership together. I can do whatever I want. Oh, please believe.

Speaker1: [00:40:58] Me, Mama. I do believe that you are equally as guilty as he partners.

Speaker3: [00:41:05] Right?

Speaker1: [00:41:06] How could you have not stopped him? Oh, those tears are only going to make those chocolate chip cookies saltier. Understood.

Speaker2: [00:41:13] Chocolate and salt so good.

Speaker1: [00:41:14] I don't even understand why you wouldn't have done this. You prefer oatmeal raisin? How dare you, Gina?

Speaker2: [00:41:21] How very different with a couple of chocolate chips.

Speaker1: [00:41:27] Are my children. I never thought that day would come.

Speaker3: [00:41:32] Now I know there's a lot of tears being shed here. I know everyone's so.

Speaker2: [00:41:36] Hard since Daddy died.

Speaker3: [00:41:37] This things have been so hot since Daddy died. But I want to say something about my rights as a child.

Speaker1: [00:41:44] Oh, you would prefer not to talk about your late father? Proceed. Go ahead.

Speaker3: [00:41:48] Look, just because he was shot doesn't mean that we have to talk about it all the time. Okay.

Speaker1: [00:41:58] Hi. I'm attorney Lionel Shoemaker. Are you a child that's been wrongfully accused by your parents of things such as stealing cookies, crying into the cookie batter, or taking a family recipe and warping it for generations to come, or maybe even accused of murdering one of your parents. If you're one of those categories of people, you need to call me Lionel Shoemaker at eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. Lionel Shoemaker. That's eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. Lionel Shoemaker. Eight or standing by. Eight, eight, Lionel.

Speaker3: [00:42:38] So many numbers in this foam shoe maker.

Speaker1: [00:42:43] Bring, bring, bring. Hello? Lionel Schumaker talking.

Speaker3: [00:42:46] Hi. Believe it or not, I'm in trouble with all of the things that you mentioned in your commercial that was on Cartoon Network. You're really hitting your demographic, by the way. Thank you. Yeah. So, yes, I'm being accused of not only taking cookies from the cookie jar, but altering the recipe, which apparently is sacrosanct. Six separate things.

Speaker1: [00:43:10] Sacrilege. Yes.

Speaker3: [00:43:11] Sacrilege. And of shooting my father.

Speaker1: [00:43:15] Which no one knows. Client for me?

Speaker3: [00:43:17] Yes. Nobody knows who shot that gun.

Speaker1: [00:43:21] I'm going to need four dozen cookies. And can you be in my office at 230?

Speaker3: [00:43:25] Yeah. What do you want?

Speaker1: [00:43:26] I want four dozen cookies, and I want you in my office at 230.

Speaker3: [00:43:29] You want chocolate chip? You. And what's your secret, doodle? You want oatmeal raisin? Come on. This is the cookie business.

Speaker1: [00:43:34] Well, we're talking about four dozen cookies. Can we do two dozen snickerdoodle, one dozen of chocolate chip and then half a dozen of oatmeal raised. And then the other six. Just surprise me. He said Yes, we got him. Swarm, swarm, swarm, swarm. We have you surrounded. We have you surrounded. Oh, hands up. Put the phone down, Sam Bell. Put the phone down. Mom, why are you in that uniform? It's been a sting operation this whole time. We knew you killed your father. I've been worried, Daddy. I've been working with the FBI.

Speaker3: [00:44:08] Wait a minute. So was that commercial all a hoax to get me?

Speaker1: [00:44:12] If you wouldn't shoot me, Sugar Shoemaker wouldn't do that to me. Hit, eject, able. Hit, eject on this giant 1981 VCR. It's a recorded tape. Mm hmm. No. Yep. The TV lies. The TV tells lies all the time.

Speaker3: [00:44:30] Well, you know where that TVs. You know where that TV's going. Straight to help us start some fires.

Speaker1: [00:44:38] Yeah. Yeah, That is just like you are for lying about killing your own daddy. Gina, come here. Give me a hug. I can't believe you killed your father, Gina. I can't believe you did it. You're both partners. You're similar partners. You're both everything. You both killed your father. Goodbye. Goodbye to both of you.

Speaker2: [00:45:02] I'll end this partnership one way or another. It's time for you to go, brother.

Speaker1: [00:45:10] Are you trapped in an unpleasant partnership with your sibling or other related family member? Call Lionel Schumacher the Partnership Dissolution expert for children. I'm available at eight, 8888, eight. Lionel Shoemaker Operators are standing by. And by operators I mean me. I'm standing by for phone calls from children. I work for cookies. Little shoemaker. Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. Lionel Schumacher. And c. C. That's the moral of the story. I don't know. Don't go into partnership with your siblings. Oh, yeah.

Speaker3: [00:45:51] I mean, that sounds like it.

Speaker1: [00:45:52] That's probably good advice. That starts with Cain and Abel, right? Yeah, it sounds like.

Speaker2: [00:45:57] Oh, my God.

Speaker3: [00:45:58] No partnerships with siblings and no partnerships with that couple you just get dinner with every now and then.

Speaker1: [00:46:04] Yeah. Yeah. No, I have to say that the bit about the two more calamari was just like that. One of those, you know, what do they call it, like world building moments. I was like, Oh, restaurant. I mean, I almost went off on a tangent because I was like, How can we partners, if you're ordering for the table is 5050, I don't want calamari so close to the bar. That's great.

Speaker3: [00:46:30] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you.

Speaker1: [00:46:31] Guys are so fun. Thank you so much for doing that. That was awesome.

Speaker3: [00:46:34] Oh, it was a blast.

Speaker2: [00:46:37] What a delight. Steve, it's so nice to meet you. You're so funny. What a joy.

Speaker1: [00:46:41] It's so great to play with you guys. I mean, you guys are so funny, and now you're going to be like a power couple. It's awesome. Also, your cats. Great. Yeah. So I saw the cat wandering through there as well. Oh, so that's awesome. Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender people, and everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work. They offer free advice and resources at Lambda Legal. Org. That's. L. A. Ambedkar. L. G. A. L. Dot. Org. If you want to get out there and support the rights of the LGBTQ+ community, Lambda Legal is a great place to start. Before we go, I want to say goodbye to my guests and find out what is coming soon from you and where can people find you on the socials?

Speaker2: [00:47:39] You can go ahead and check out my podcast with my husband to be our tune. It is Cage old question available wherever you get your podcast and you can follow us on social media at old Question.

Speaker3: [00:47:51] And then for me personally, also do that do the Age old Question podcast, but also feel free to check out the web series Dino Portals. It'll probably be available on Vimeo and YouTube and it's going to be very fun.

Speaker2: [00:48:05] And follow you on socials at our Town, Nazareth.

Speaker3: [00:48:07] At our tune cartoon.

Speaker2: [00:48:09] And our teen.

Speaker1: [00:48:09] Cartoon, right? And that's rt0 you and.

Speaker3: [00:48:13] You.

Speaker1: [00:48:14] And then two O's in the cartoon part.

Speaker3: [00:48:16] Exactly. Yes.

Speaker1: [00:48:17] Yeah. And this is Steven James. What you can do is you can check out the super legit podcast available and all of your pod catchers, pod grabbers, pod snatchers of choice. And don't follow me on social media. Don't follow me, please. Hey, if you're enjoying the show or you got a suggestion, a question, a comment, or you just want to bother me, I'm at Max Headroom. Eskew on Twitter. I don't really do Instagram. I have one, but I never check it. But send me something. I'm your host, Billy Dee Clark, and I'm a living, breathing Dogecoin meme. Thanks to my guests and have a great day. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker3: [00:49:04] Guys.

Speaker1: [00:49:04] By the way, marriage is the best. And I say that and my wife and child and I are leaving for a trip tomorrow, which is one of the most stressful times. But it is. I got to say. Congratulations, guys. It is awesome. Thank you. Thank you all. All the happiness is. Yeah.

Speaker3: [00:49:20] Where are you guys headed?

Speaker1: [00:49:21] We are headed to Maine for, like, three weeks. We're. We're going to Maine. Wait for real? We have a wedding there that we're going to announce that we're going to wear. When are you going to be there? This week.

Speaker3: [00:49:33] Next week. I'm officiating the.

Speaker1: [00:49:35] Wedding, Officiating? Wedding? Maine. Where is this a hypnotist wedding? No.

Speaker3: [00:49:39] This is it's going to be in Ellsworth, just outside of bank. Oh, my.

Speaker1: [00:49:43] God. We're going to be in Southwest Harbor. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to be so close to you guys. That's great. Oh, my God. Ellsworth. Billy Ellsworth is like the the big town next to where I'm going to be in Acadia National Park.

Speaker3: [00:49:55] Oh, my God. We might. We might even be in Acadia at some point. Okay.

Speaker2: [00:49:59] All so we'll just start howling whenever we're maybe.

Speaker1: [00:50:03] I'm going to put my email in the chat. This is amazing. I'm spending I'm spending three weeks with my wife. We do this every year. Laughs We missed it during pandemic year, but usually we spend like ten days. And since last year we that we spent three weeks. I was like, three weeks is too much. My wife was like three weeks is barely enough. But yeah, we're going to be there for three weeks. So if it's like, yeah, if you wind up in Southwest Harbor or something.

Speaker3: [00:50:29] Yeah, I'll shoot you an email.

Speaker1: [00:50:30] We'll meet you at the library, we'll go to the Quiet Side cafe. Oh, my God. My wife is going to lose her fucking shit. Oh, my God. I mean, this is the reason I started a podcast to bring people together. Oh, my God. I hate all this shit in. Keep this all in. I didn't hit. I didn't hit. Stop. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This weekend we're going to be in New York, and then we drive into Acadia on, like, the 21st. Nice. I think so, Yeah. See? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's going to be. That's so cool. Yeah. So it's such a small, such a small world. And now my wife isn't going to be mad that I spent all this time recording the podcast, and we're supposed.

Speaker2: [00:51:10] To do with the trip to do it.

Speaker1: [00:51:12] I was planning. It was planning on the itinerary. You guys are great. Thank you so much.

Speaker2: [00:51:20] For safe travels.

Speaker3: [00:51:21] Safe travels.

Speaker1: [00:51:22] Safe travels to you as well. And we're.